#Not just for Sylvie but for everything and everyone he grew to love

[dlrconlicense]

I think I actually really liked this ending of Loki.

It kind of reminds me of the conversation he and Thor had in the elevator in Ragnarok. Life is about growth. Yes, and this is about growth of Loki. Of him finding his true purpose. And Glorious Purpose indeed. He was born for the throne. Grow together. For all time, always.

[agendabymooner]

satellite ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc)

“i’m here, right here. wishing i could be there for you.”

summary: when the news of the downfall of her racing journey broke out, max verstappen promised to never let her down like that ever again. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

content warning: confrontation and good crying sesh with max and ofc, panic attack, alludes to smut (not graphic), use of explicit language, angst, set in vs fashion show 2016

note: 300 FOLLOWERS?! you guys are insane and i love you all so much!!! thank you!!!

masterlist

[translation: i’m just putting my french fluency into use. thank you paris!]

tagged victoriassecret, steviemarlz

liked by danielricciardo, aimeeyh, max33verstappen

comments have been limited

charles_leclerc such a heartwarming caption from you ❤️

sylvieeford charles leclerc? hardly know her 🤐

landonorris my best friend ate 👏 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford thank u best friend

tillymarie ughhh you girls make me proud ❤️ liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford i’m always eager to please 😍

danielricciardo when the mini boss can do anything >> liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford call me barbie 😉

max33verstappen what a beaut 😁 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford don’t get too soft on me now, caddy 😂

Her standard was Max, and god, did that ever ruin her chance to have a rebound. Whenever she got the chance to go on dates, she seemed to cower from the thought. As if she was worried about not getting along with the said dates.

Speaking of anxiety.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was on the go, and to say that it was nerve wracking would be quite a shame. You would think that she would be alright with walking down the runway now— but to know that some of her peers were here to support her, three days after the last race? Yeah, she might as well shit on her pants. 

She had everyone else to be nervous about; Lady Gaga was there for fucks sake. She was in the same room as Adriana Lima and Elsa Hosk. Hell, even Abel would be performing during her segment— why was she nervous about seeing her driver friends while she walked down the runway? 

She supposed that no one had seen her pose in her underwear before. That, and that they all grew up with her— it was weird to see your childhood friend all grown up, dressed in lingerie and nothing else. 

Not that Max Verstappen hadn’t seen that months ago. 

Fuck, Max was going to be there! 

She knew she was nervous. She just didn’t realize that it was because of him. Why would she be nervous? After all, working together had a major effect on their relationship. And… sleeping together once. 

Because he didn’t bring it up anymore after their conversation that day. He was friendly with her, but not once did he mention that he wanted to do it again. She wasn’t sure if it was because of their workplace relationship or their general friendship, but she was sure as hell that it hurt. Not that she would ever tell him that. Not especially after she found a woman clinging to him at their next race’s afterparty. 

So it did hurt. But as a prideful daughter of a miserable mother, she kept a straight face and smiled at everyone. 

After seeing him that night, she kept their relationship as civil as it could be— only listening to him “Maxplain” everything he could speak about, and offering him advice whenever he needed it. She failed to mention a lot of things in her life— like how Abel was performing tonight. Max only found out through their friends hours prior to the event and while it pissed him off to no end, he couldn’t afford to upset Sylvie on her special day. This was her day after all. She was debuting as a VS model. 

Tilly and Aimee had managed to see Sylvie and Stevie before the show as they prepared. They had mostly spoken about how they were able to get to the location easily and how Soren fussed when Tilly left him at Toto’s watch. 

“The boys are there,” Aimee pointed her head towards the direction of the audience, “I told them not to be foolish this time around.”

“Did you tell them to behave and not bark?” Stevie giggled, making Sylvie cackle. Sylvie’s makeup artist shot her a warning to not ruin her makeup by crying in laughter. 

“They know not to,” Tilly rolled her eyes, “those men have PR managers to answer to otherwise.” 

“I think George and Alex were only there chilling,” Aimee said, “I didn’t think someone could have anxiety even if they’re just an audience— not until I saw Max.” 

“Max? Why?” Now that piqued Sylvie’s curiosity.

Tilly answered, “I dunno. It must’ve been the adrenaline from Abu Dhabi, if you were to ask me. He’ll be fine once the show starts.” 

The beating of her heart slowed down when her segment started, only focusing on the front and had only given Abel a look of indifference before making her way through the middle, posing with her head tilting slightly to the right. Walking back, she glanced on her right and watched Max’s eyes stare at hers. 

She kept her head in his direction for a moment, not even realizing that she walked past Abel as her ears muted his song and voice, only paying attention to Max before looking back in front of her and walking off. 

Max knew that she had seen him with his not-really-girlfriend in each race, and it was extremely stupid of him. Rebounds shouldn’t be a thing at all, he told himself. He knew how he felt about her, yet after spending some time with her in a bedroom, he seemed to chicken out and not tell her about the love he had for her.

He always wondered how she went from insulting him jokingly to having a civil conversation and agreeing to everything he said. It was wrong. Why didn’t she say something about it? They agreed not to lie to each other, did they not? 

He seemed to feel like a hypocrite just saying that. But he was more than willing to admit that she was just as beautiful as she was before. He only started to feel different when they shared an intimate moment with each other, one that he’d like to relive for as long as he could breathe.

But they weren’t even aware that admitting would have to take time. After all, there were more problems to solve. 

Partying had never been a priority for her, if you were to ask, but Kendall insisted that Sylvie come along before the younger girl could even dive headfirst into her work throughout their break. The third Hearth daughter only nodded and dressed up as nicely as she could, only deciding that she would only drink one glass of daiquiri. What she didn’t know, however, was that Kendall had invited her guy friends to join them at the party. She had never felt so annoyed— why wouldn’t Kendall tell her in the first place that she’d invite them? Not that she wasn’t enthralled at the thought. Some warning would have sufficed. 

But it wasn’t their presence that made her want to go home. 

Everyone was too busy dancing to even sit in their booth, leaving Sylvie behind while she scrolled through her Twitter. She liked the peaceful atmosphere that the club could offer in a booth. And her blocking Abel was definitely something. 

Her eyes found a tweet that left her blood running cold. No.

“Sylvie’s Failed F1 Career: Explained”

From top to bottom, the story of her discontinued journey in Formula One was splayed out in a gossip website— a rather accredited one, while you’re at it. People would normally say not to believe what you see on the internet, but the truth was published and spread in the Formula One community and show business. 

Nobody knew what had happened before. Not until now. Whoever the fuck were these anonymous sources, they were nothing but assholes. Everything in the article was detailed from head to toe. Some stuff that people didn’t know were put up for everyone to see and shame her with.

Then panic started to spread across her body, her feet stumbling up as she marched down towards the dance floor, her hand gripping on Max’s shirt as she dragged him to a seedy area of the club no one had ever stepped foot on. 

“Mustang, what—“

“Cut the bullshit, Max,” she spewed out venomously before she shoved her phone in his hand. “Did you do this?” 

His eyes peered down on the article on screen as they widened. He looked up to see her teary eyes appearing once more. 

“No,” he answered honestly, but she wasn’t having it.

“You knew what happened, you’re the one who reported me, Max,” she cried out, her body shaking in anger and panic as she continued, “you saw that. You told the officials—“

“But that doesn’t mean I would fuck your career over!” Max exclaimed in frustration. “I told you that if you had somehow given me a heads up that they were kicking you out, I would have gone back and made them review it. Me not being there when you were being questioned was the biggest mistake I’ve made, because I know you. You’re honest. I would’ve known. I would’ve admitted that I was wrong if I heard you speak for yourself.”

“Then why do this? If you respect me then why do this now?”

“Sylvie, schatje,” he took a deep breath before looking at her again, “I would not— for the life of me— treat you like that. God, I would never forgive myself if I did. So I swear that isn’t me.” 

He didn’t even realize how bad their situation was until she started crying and crumbling in his arms, the music still tampering with the hysterical sound of her sobs. He tried to comfort her right there, but the loudness of the club only messed with both of their emotions and anxiety as he picked up their stuff and hailed for a cab. 

It didn’t take him long to find his room as she continued to cry in his arms. She spoke about her worries about her career as she sobbed, not wanting to lose her job in Red Bull and as a model because of this disaster they both called a lie. How was she going to explain all of this to her family? She asked herself as she sniffled, wiping her tears away. She hadn’t even realized that Max was crying too. 

All of this happened because he believed his friends who couldn’t give anymore shit about him. All of this happened to her because of him. All he could do now was apologize with tears. 

“I- I- I’ll do my best to fix this,” Max stammered, wiping his tears away to hide it away from her as she looked up. “Let me please help you fix this. This was my doing and I- I can’t hurt you like this, Sylv. I can’t afford to have you lose your career because of me. Just… please, forgive me and let me help.” 

“Please, Max,” she whispered. “I can’t be silenced anymore, Max. I- I need someone to speak for me.” 

“We’ll be speaking for you,” Max promised, leaning his forehead against hers. “I’ll… I don’t care if it ruins my own career, I just know yours cannot be ruined because of me. I’ll be here for you, schatje. Just have me.”

[terry-perry]

Smile Through Your Fear and Sorrow

Pairings: Ex!Steve Rogers x Odinsdottir!Reader, Steve x Peggy (implied, but can also be open to interpretation), Loki x Sylvie, Thor x Jane

Genres: Angst, songfic? (more of a story inspired by listening to a song multiple times), Family fic

A/N: Part 2 to this AU for my popular AU. Basically a “What If…?” scenario where Steve and Odinsdottir break up because he stayed in 1945. However, he returns sooner than what we saw in Endgame. And not alone…

Also decided to do a variation of Loki where he might've come back but is still part of the TVA.

Enjoy!

Y/N gave small bites of the bread Thor was sweet enough to bring her. He needn't bother since she wasn't all that hungry. She wasn't really feeling all that well actually. It's why she couldn't see her friends off that morning. She'll miss them dearly and told Thor and Val to offer everyone her best wishes, especially the newly betrothed couple.

She wanted everyone to be happy for Steve. He and Thor always got along so well, and that shouldn't change just because he was with someone else.

Y/N, meanwhile, had been on her own for the last year and a half. It was already a time of many challenges related to processing everything that happened with Thanos, but then Thor left with the Guardians. She and Valkyrie took over the ruling of New Asgard which involved a lot of paperwork, many officials to speak to, and hosting numerous ceremonies. There was no time to dwell on emotions.

She had no right to be angry with Steve, anyway, since it was a mutual decision for him to leave to not only return the stones but also himself to his proper time. Even though they were in love, he had the opportunity to be with his first love.

She didn't want to be selfish, even though she very much wanted him to stay. After everything, she wanted the simplicity they promised to have with each other. The normalcy they could never properly have except through stolen moments with one another.

But no, she let him go. He deserved happiness after all he sacrificed. If that happiness couldn't be shared with her, then so be it.

However, he showed back up without alerting anyone of his return. Not only that, but he brought her. He brought back his one true love he regretted leaving in 1945 to a world she could be better appreciated in. He was always doing what he could to make those he cared for feel loved.

On a similar note, Y/N wanted to do her best to be happy for Steve. Though if Y/N was being more honest, she knew it was for the best after observing the journeys each of her friends and family had endured regarding love. Wanda, Pepper, Valkyrie, and Strange -- Y/N knew each of their love stories ended in heartbreak somehow. She didn't wish to be part of all that.

Her brothers themselves found love during the unique situations they were in.

First, there was Thor and the Midgardian scientist Jane Foster. They were both different, but somehow they made it work. They taught each other their contrasting ways of life and demonstrated a shared level of respect and understanding for one another. Time went on, and their bond grew as they connected in an uplifting and meaningful way.

It was a pleasure to see her big brother happy. She was there to hear him set his sights on a bright future with Jane that included a welcoming home and many mini versions of him and Jane residing in said home. Yet she noticed that the more he considered a future with Jane, his concerns about losing it all increased. That's when he began to build these walls around himself and kept busy with various tasks that took him to other realms. It was when both he and Jane grew too busy for each other that they chose to discuss the space that formed between them. It became too challenging for them to communicate their thoughts and better to end it all.

Just when it felt like they were ready to give their relationship another chance, Jane decided to give up whatever was left of her health to help save everyone from Gorr. It was a difficult but necessary move that led to Thor making a fresh new start with his adopted daughter, Love. Y/N loved her darling new niece, seeing more of Thor in her every time she visited the pair.

Then there was Loki. It was just like him to fall for a variation of himself. He and Sylvie, this woman variant he talked about, were deeply passionate about what they did and shared many other common traits and ideals, which helped them develop a strong bond. They were able to get along well because of their shared values.

It was a rocky start, but they quickly grew close. Then Sylvie double-crossed him in a way that made him feel betrayed and heartbroken, seeing as he believed he got through to her similarly to how she got through to him. Although it had been a devastating experience, he did not feel the need to hold her responsible. If anything, he understood why she did what she did.

All he does now is travel through space and time with his companion, Mobius, in the hopes that he will find her again and spend the rest of his days with her in whatever way she desires.

That's the way it always goes. The combination of vulnerability and passion will be a powerful force that allows beings to show their feelings, which can be terrifying yet exhilarating. Then the time comes when it's all over. It was a painful realization but required.

It's better to have to hold one's own hand sometimes to protect yourself from harm and ensure that you're doing everything correctly. Perhaps that was the way for the children of Odin. Regardless of how long a romantic relationship lasts, it'll eventually end.

According to Thor, it's better to feel terrible about losing someone's love than to never experience it. He called it "feeling shitty." She believed her brothers had developed such unrealistic expectations for love, especially after suffering the heartbreak of loss and rejection they did. Although she appreciated Thor's input and his words on "feeling shitty" being better than pushing people away and closing off your heart, she wasn't ready to embrace the idea. She had other priorities that were a better use of her time than reflecting on her failed relationship.

It didn't matter that there were still times when she'd feel lonely and sit and think about the time they spent together. Good times like sitting on the roof of the old Avengers compound and talking about everything that came to mind, Steve clinging onto her in the mornings when she'd dare try to get out of bed, or watching old movies together. It's hard to remember the memories they made together.

It's why she wanted to do her best to show how happy she was for him. She didn't want it to be the same every time. She wished to avoid all the pain that came from seeing him. The best solution she could think of for moving on from such an experience was to smile and keep saying she was happy.

A sudden knock at her door startled her out of her thoughts. She told the person to come in, thinking one of the handmaidens was going to enter and tell her that her friends had officially departed. She was hoping this would be the case since the news would help her further in continuing to move on from all of this. Unfortunately, this particular news brought a guest who made her heart stop.

"Captain Rogers, my lady,"

Tags: @casey1-2007 @stupendouslovegardener @vicmc624

[rockislandadultreads]

Goodreads Choice Awards 2023: Best Fiction

Winner: Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Athena Liu is a literary darling and June Hayward is literally nobody.

White lies When Athena dies in a freak accident, June steals her unpublished manuscript and publishes it as her own under the ambiguous name Juniper Song.

Dark humour But as evidence threatens June’s stolen success, she will discover exactly how far she will go to keep what she thinks she deserves.

Deadly consequences… What happens next is entirely everyone else’s fault.

Nominee: Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano

William Waters grew up in a house silenced by tragedy, where his parents could hardly bear to look at him, much less love him. So it’s a relief when his skill on the basketball court earns him a scholarship to college, far away from his childhood home. He soon meets Julia Padavano, a spirited and ambitious young woman who surprises William with her appreciation of his quiet steadiness. With Julia comes her family; she is inseparable from her three younger sisters: Sylvie, the dreamer, is happiest with her nose in a book and imagines a future different from the expected path of wife and mother; Cecelia, the family’s artist; and Emeline, who patiently takes care of all of them. Happily, the Padavanos fold Julia’s new boyfriend into their loving, chaotic household.

But then darkness from William’s past surfaces, jeopardizing not only Julia’s carefully orchestrated plans for their future, but the sisters’ unshakeable loyalty to one another. The result is a catastrophic family rift that changes their lives for generations. Will the loyalty that once rooted them be strong enough to draw them back together when it matters most?

Nominee: The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer

Make a wish...

Lucy Hart knows better than anyone what it’s like to grow up without parents who loved her. In a childhood marked by neglect and loneliness, Lucy found her solace in books, namely the Clock Island series by Jack Masterson. Now a twenty-six-year-old teacher’s aide, she is able to share her love of reading with bright, young students, especially seven-year-old Christopher Lamb, who was left orphaned after the tragic death of his parents. Lucy would give anything to adopt Christopher, but even the idea of becoming a family seems like an impossible dream without proper funds and stability.

But be careful what you wish for...

Just when Lucy is about to give up, Jack Masterson announces he’s finally written a new book. Even better, he’s holding a contest at his home on the real Clock Island, and Lucy is one of the four lucky contestants chosen to compete to win the one and only copy.

For Lucy, the chance of winning the most sought-after book in the world means everything to her and Christopher. But first she must contend with ruthless book collectors, wily opponents, and the distractingly handsome (and grumpy) Hugo Reese, the illustrator of the Clock Island books. Meanwhile, Jack “the Mastermind” Masterson is plotting the ultimate twist ending that could change all their lives forever.

... You might just get it.

Nominee: Tom Lake by Ann Patchett

It's spring and Lara's three grown daughters have returned to the family orchard. While picking cherries, they beg their mother to tell them the one story they've always longed to hear – of the film star with whom she shared a stage, and a romance, years before.

Tom Lake is a meditation on youthful love, married love, and the lives parents have led before their children were born. Both hopeful and elegiac, it explores what it means to be happy even when the world is falling apart.

[sleepynegress]

It's been awhile with the MCU... ...but I have some meta on this, because I disagree with y'all. Loki in the MCU embodied the "eternal brat" archetype. But the Loki arc in the show, was all about showing us that was a facade for rejection trauma. ...He didn't actually love himself at all. He pushed that lie, as he tread water in the middle of the ocean of self-denial, without knowledge of true purpose. All the bullshit, --the tesseract, which truly was symbolically just a keychain bobble, a nothing object he used to avoid his true issues/needs, before it literally became that were his off-roads to avoiding that. So, his ending wasn't tragic or bad or ~lonely~. It was ADULTHOOD. His ultimate culmination was...to simply grow TF up. The older and wiser you get, caring what others think (*cough* his father, his brother), grasping for some magical objective, isn't the goal. Contentment is. So, in order to finally see and love his true self he faced a mirror of his own issues. Sylvie was THERAPY y'all. He learned to love himself, let go and thus be emotionally mature enough to properly actualize his ultimate purpose and power.

The "you" of Sylvie represented not just her, but himself and everyone else....And I mean EVERYONE else. Yes, blah, blah "he finally got his throne irony blah blah..." but you're missing the forest for the trees. This expression below, here?? Is that of a man who has gotten everything he never knew he actually wanted. This is not a sad lonely man. 👇🏾

Loki is the most content, satisfied, most self-actualized grown-up in the MCU. He didn't sacrifice shit. He became who he was meant to be. He's literally surrounded by the threads of love/life, --cocooned in it, at the center of it, after having to flip the self-centeredness lie he always played and THAT'S the poetry. He couldn't be the root of it while lacking it. Alone don't mean lonely. He's the brat who matured, learned to love himself, in order to properly encompass love (for all the worlds and timelines!) and grew up.

I am simultaneously deliriously in love with the ending of Loki season 2 and absolutely loathe it

On one hand…Shakespearean tragedy at its finest, essentially circling back to Loki’s original Thor 2011 character arc by reversing it, and Loki has literally ascended to godhood. In the end, Loki’s ultimate selfless sacrifice was to sit upon the highest throne in the multiverse, and that to me is tragically ironically beautiful

On the other hand…Loki being alone makes me want to burn Marvel studios to the ground and do other unspeakable things

Best and worst ending of all time f u Eric Martin

[official-sylvielaufeydottir]

I don’t have a simple story. My life has been one long chase, one endless battle against forces that don’t care about individuals—only about control. I was born on a timeline that wasn’t supposed to exist, a variant. The TVA didn’t see me as a person; I was just an anomaly to them. They pruned my reality, tearing apart everything I knew and forcing me to run.

I grew up in hiding, moving from one place to another, always looking over my shoulder. I learned how to fend for myself because I had to. Trust was a luxury I couldn’t afford. I watched others get caught by the TVA—friends, family, anyone I let into my life. They didn’t understand my pain, the weight of being hunted, of being considered less than human.

I spent years trying to figure out who I was amid all the chaos. I took on a new name, one that was mine, not dictated by anyone else. Sylvie. I fought against the expectations the TVA placed on me, even when I was just a child. They wanted to erase me, but I wouldn’t let them. I became a master of deception, a trickster in my own right.

I stole from the TVA, uncovered their secrets, and eventually learned how to manipulate their technology. I met others like me, those who had also been deemed variants. Some were willing to fight, while others just wanted to survive. I chose to fight.

I sought out allies and stumbled into a complex web of loyalties and betrayals. I crossed paths with Loki, and for the first time, I found someone who understood what it meant to be a variant. He taught me about love, trust, and the idea that perhaps I wasn’t alone in this fight. But even that came with complications.

My mission has always been about more than just survival; it’s about liberation. I want to take down the TVA, expose their lies, and free everyone they’ve imprisoned. I want to rewrite the narrative that’s been forced upon us. I want everyone to have the right to choose their own path, to make their own decisions without fear of being snuffed out.

But this fight isn’t without its scars. I’ve lost people, seen allies fall, and felt the burden of betrayal. I’ve faced my own doubts, wrestling with the idea of who I am versus who the TVA wants me to be. Each day is a reminder of the stakes, of the people who depend on me to keep pushing forward.

My life is still a whirlwind of chaos and conflict, but I refuse to let it define me. I’m not just a variant—I’m Sylvie, and I’m here to change everything. This is my story, a tale of resilience and rebellion against a system that thinks it can erase me. And I won’t stop until I’ve rewritten the rules.

[geminigirl0298]

Special Education

Relationship: Loki x Virgin! Reader

Summary: You grew up on a tiny island that taught you nothing about sex and its derivatives. When you come across it in a steamy erotica book at the Citadel, you ask the God of Mischief to teach you everything he knows.

A/N: I want to thank @jan21st and anon who sent in those beautiful messages today. I posted this last night and it barely got interactions, so I doubted myself and took it down. Here's me re-posting it for everyone who encouraged me. Reblogs are appreciated!

Word Count: 5.8 k

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, NSFW, minors DNI! Fingering (female receiving), oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, thigh riding, inappropriate language, cumplay.

Masterlist

“Loki, what’s an orgasm?”

The God of Mischief paused his actions. He was halfway through signing his name on a document for the Timekeepers when you strode into the room and plopped yourself onto his desk. There was a paperback book clutched to your chest, and you were clad in one of those knee-length dresses he had conjured for you. “What?”

“An orgasm,” you repeated. You showed him the book you were reading and pointed to a sentence.

She reached her end rather quickly, the line said. His thrusts were precise, purposeful, and in no time at all they had a powerful orgasm wracking through her body. Loki lifted a brow at the nature of the book. He had read a lot of erotic literature in his lifetime and even kept a few volumes on sex in his personal library. This was not one of them. “Where did you get this, little bird?”

The moniker had stuck after he discovered your talent for singing. It was a month after he rescued you from the Void. You, a slight thing raised on a very conservative island, had been visited by the Timekeepers for saving an old lady from drowning in the ocean. The Nexus event caused you to be taken by the TVA, and some struggling with a hasty keeper resulted in your pruning.

A group of men who were trying to get pass Alioth had found you in the Void and decided to use you as bait. Loki heard your cries on one of his patrols to ensure nothing was amiss. Following it to the source, he happened upon you tied to a wrecked car with tears streaming down your face. Alioth was upon you, the men trying to skirt their way around. Loki made quick work of ending their lives before untying you and bringing you back to the Citadel.

“I found it in He Who Remain’s things,” you told him. Loki’s brows knit. After taking over authority of the Sacred Timeline, he and Sylvie had stored away the belongings of their predecessor. They were happy for quite some time, though he could always tell that Sylvie wanted something he alone could not provide. So, on a weary day after meeting with the Timekeepers, the two of them constructed a timeline that allowed Sylvie to live her life with her parents on Asgard. She promised to visit, but she never had. He supposed that was why he saved your life.

Running the TVA was fulfilling work, but it also got lonely in the Citadel. Day after day, night after night, the empty walls and halls of the stone building mocked his being alone. He wanted companionship, and he always thought finding you was a gift from his mother in Valhalla. She saw how alone he was and sent him someone he could live in harmony with, and live in harmony with you he had.

“Lokiiiii,” you sang, tapping his forehead. “Where did you go?” He loved your voice. You often sang when reading or showering or just prancing about the Citadel and Loki would always stop what he was doing to listen. There were times when you would just lie with your head in his lap and sing ballads while he read. You were, in all forms, a blessing to his life

“Sorry, little bird. What was your question?”

“Tell me what an orgasm is.”

Loki leaned back in his chair. He did not know how to broach this topic with you. You were intelligent, yet naïve. The island you grew up on never taught their girls about pleasures of the flesh. They only found out on their wedding nights—some in less pleasant ways than others. Considering this, he settled for a basic definition of the word.

“An orgasm is a sort of pleasurable feeling that occurs at the height of your sexual stimulation.” He paused to let that sink in. “Do you know what sex is?”

“Yes!” You wagged a finger at the book. “I read about it. That’s how people make babies.” Your head cocked to the side, as though putting two and two together. “Is that how orgasms are made?”

“They’re not made, they’re had,” Loki explained. “And sex isn’t the only way it can happen.” You blinked big, innocent eyes at him. “There are a lot of ways one can reach an orgasm, and not only by penetration. You can use your fingers or your tongue or-”

“I read that, but it confused me,” you told him. “You touch me all the time and I’ve never had an orgasm… I think. Have I?” You were referring to the times he would stroke your hair or rub your back when you got scared.

“Little bird,” Loki laughed. “If I had given you an orgasm, you would know.”

“Hmmm…” You snapped the book shut. “Give me one then.”

Loki felt his mouth run dry. “I… What?” He shifted on the chair, discreetly adjusting himself as his length hardened. Discussing this topic was affecting him in a rather stirring way. “You want me to do what?”

“Give me an orgasm,” you clarified. “Why? Don’t you want too?”

He would be lying if he said the thought had not crossed his mind. You had developed a deep level of intimacy with him in such a short time that it was impossible for his mind not to go there. Loki wanted more with you, from you, and was only holding himself back because of your innocence.

“It’s not that,” he told you. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’ll have to touch you in certain places, and I refuse to take advantage of you.”

Your brow furrowed. “How is it taking advantage if I’m asking you to do it? I’m not a child, Loki. You’ve explained it to me and I understand what I’m requesting.” Loki lifted a brow. It sometimes slipped his mind how firm you were in your decisions. Your lack of sexual knowledge meant very little when it came to your maturity, and it was unfair of him to treat you as such.

“Okay.”

You perked up. “Okay?”

“Yes.” He shoved the documents aside and patted the space in front of him. “Come here.” You scooted over on his desk. Loki stood in front of you, blocking your view of the Sacred Timeline through the window behind him. He parted your knees and stepped between them. “Is this okay? Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, Loki. I’m fine.” Your tone was playful, teasing, and Loki could not help but smile. He gave you a peck on the nose that had you scrunching it in the most adorable way. “Are you going to kiss me?”

“Yes.” He tangled his hand in your hair at the back of your head. “Would that be okay?” You nodded, and he pressed his lips to yours. He could tell you had never kissed anyone before. Your lips did not move at first, so he guided you carefully until you caught onto the rhythm. It was then that he slipped his tongue into your mouth.

“Oh!” You jerked back, a hand over your mouth. “What was that?”

“My tongue,” he answered. “Did you not like it?”

“Umm…” You made a face. “It was a little slimy. Reminded me of a snake.” Loki bit back a laugh at the analogy.

“I won’t do it again. Come here.” He leaned down to kiss you again, ensuring his tongue did not go pass his lips. You seemed to enjoy it much more this way. Your body relaxed into his, pressing your torso into him. He felt your hardened nipples against his chest and grinned into the kiss. “Someone’s getting excited.”

He pulled away from the kiss to look at you. Your nipples peeked out through the blue material of your cap sleeved dress.. “Oh,” you waved a hand. “That happens when it’s cold.”

“It also happens when you’re aroused. Watch this.” He took a cloth covered nipple between two fingers. Gently, he began rolling it. Your head fell back with a groan. Loki used this leverage to place kisses on your neck, making you moan with each press of his lips. A specific spot close to your ear had you gasping and when he sucked on it, you suddenly cried out.

“Wait, stop!” He pulled back in alarm. You were staring down at your lap in confusion. “I think I peed!” Loki bit his lip.

“You didn’t wet yourself, little bird. You’re aroused. This is what happens when your body is stimulated.”

“Oh.” The look on your face was comical.

He placed a hand on your knee. “Can I see? Or do you want to stop?”

“No, I’m good.” You looked at him. “You can keep going.” With your permission, Loki moved his fingers up your leg. His hand disappeared beneath the skirt of your dress, reaching your underwear in no time. Once there, he pressed two fingers to the damp cloth. “Oh!”

“Darling?” Loki paused at your outburst. “Are we still good?” You nodded. “Excellent. Just breathe, little bird. You’re doing well.” His fingers stroked the outside of your underwear, getting you wetter and wetter with each movement. He kept a watch on your face for any signs of discomfort. When he saw none, he slipped two fingers inside your panties. The curls that met his skin were slick with your arousal. He made quick work of parting your lips to gain access to your clit.

“Loki!” Your hips bucked off the table, hands holding onto his biceps. “What is that? What are you rubbing?” Your voice was breathless with need. It hardened his cock even more and had his zipper threatening to burst.

“That’s your clit, darling. It’s a bundle of nerves that makes you feel good.” He pressed it, and you let out a sinful moan. “See?” You nodded, bringing your head forward to rest on his chest. Loki smoothed his fingers over your head before pressing a kiss to the top of it. “Let’s get you to that orgasm, yeah?”

“Yes, yes pleaassseeeeeee…” The word stretched into a prolonged plea as he slipped his middle finger within you. You were tight, virginal, and he wiggled his finger around to get you accustomed to the appendage. A little while later, he began moving the finger in and out. “That feels good,” you whimpered.

“Good,” he praised. “I’m going to add another. Tell me if it hurts.” He slowly added his index finger to the mix. You tensed for just a second, then relaxed for him to get it all the way in. A bit of thrusting and scissoring got your walls loose enough to allow him to move unrestricted.

“Loki…”

“That’s it,” he cooed. “That’s it, little bird. Just feel.” He moved his two fingers at a comfortable pace, using his thumb to rub your clit. You were gushing by this point. He knew his desk would have a little puddle of your juices once you were done. “Darling?”

“Loki, I’m-I can’t-”. Your head tilted back, brows knitting together. A sweat had already broken out on your forehead. Your hips, whether under conscious or subconscious control, were moving in time with his fingers. The obscene sounds produced by the thrusting had Loki’s mouth watering. He could not wait to taste you once you were done.

“Tell me what you feel, darling.”

“Pressure,” you whimpered. “Right here.” You pointed to your lower stomach. “I-I can’t. Loki, I’m-”

“You’re about to orgasm,” he filled in. “Just cum, darling. Give in and cum for me. Let me hear you.”

The most beautiful thing happened then. Your head was already tilted back, eyes closed in rapture. Loki kept a firm hand on your lower back to keep you close. Your fingers tightened and fisted in the sleeves of his robe. Those plump lips of yours rounded, forming a perfect ‘O’. Your walls clenched around his fingers, entire body going rigid as you fell over the edge. The wail that left your mouth echoed through the entire Citadel.

“That’s right,” Loki encouraged. “Sing for me, my little songbird. Sing loud.” He curled his fingers as you rode out your orgasm. When it was over, and your body relaxed, you opened your eyes and stared off into the distance. Loki waved a hand in front of you to get your attention. “Little bird?”

“Hmm.” You blinked dazed eyes at him. Your eyes darted down to the bulge in his pants. “What’s that?” You poked it, and he hissed.

“That’s me,” he told you, moving your hand from his little problem. “That’s how men get aroused.”

“Do you need an orgasm too?” you asked. Loki had to force himself to reply in the negative.

“I can take care of it myself, as can you, if the need arises again.”

You scrunched your nose up in thought. “Nah. It’s a lot of work. I’ll just come to you.” Loki chuckled.

“That’s fine by me.” He cupped your face with his clean hand. “Do you want to continue reading your book? You can sit here with me while I finish my work.”

“Nope,” you popped the ‘p’. “I’m hungry, and I need a shower.”

“I’ll tell you what. Go take a shower and get dressed. We’ll go to Paris for those crepes you like.” Your eyes danced with glee.

“Really?” He nodded, enjoying your excitement. “Okay! Thank you, Loki!”

“You’re welcome, little bird. Now go. I have some work to complete in the meantime.”

ooOOoo

It was about a week later that you sought Loki out with another question. You entered his room without knocking—for he would have locked it he wanted to be alone—and glided into the green and gold swathed bedroom. Loki was lying on his bed, propped on some pillows with a book in his hand. You crawled onto his bed and near him, and only then did he lift his arm so you could snuggle against his chest.

“Sleeping here tonight?” His eyes were still on the book.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” His fingers began playing with your hair. While he read, you let yourself look upon his face. You had thought Loki was beautiful from the moment you saw him. Even during your rescue, crying and being untied while he kept that smoky monster at bay, your first thought was for how handsome he was. The tall stature, dark hair and emerald eyes were reminiscent of the male lead in your book. It was what drew you in. When you were reading the steamy scenes, you often imagined it was you and Loki, and he was doing all those spine-tingling things to you.

That was what led you to his bedroom that night. You had separate rooms but it was not uncommon for either of you to visit each other’s and fall asleep. You were reading the second part in the series when your mind started running away with images of you and Loki. Suddenly, it was no longer Jacques throwing Harriet against the shelves, but Loki and you. The thoughts produced a throbbing deep within your core that had you stumbling to his room with need.

“Loki, can I ask you another question?”

“Anything, little bird.”

“Have sex with me.”

Loki choked. His green eyes turned to you, mouth opening and closing a lot like the fishes he had taken you to see at the Boston aquarium. You were not entirely sure he was breathing until he spoke. “That’s not exactly a question, darling.”

“Sorry,” you winced. “Loki, will you have sex with me?”

“Why are you asking this?” he wanted to know, and you could not blame him. Loki had not touched you sexually since that day on the desk, so the sudden request must have thrown him for a loop. “Is it that book again? Are you still reading it?”

“Part two,” you confirmed. “And yes, I am. I like them.”

“You understand sex in books is not at all like in real life?” he asked. “Literature tends to paint a very romantic picture of it all. The type of books you’re reading does that especially well, and people often grow to have false expectations.”

You mulled over what Loki said, then nodded. “Well, that’s why I want to learn. Teach me.”

“Little bird…” Loki hesitated. “Come.” He snapped the book shut, then maneuvered you both into a sitting position. His legs stretched straight out and you sat straddling his thighs. “What you’re asking of me cannot be undone. It’s also quite uncomfortable for women who have never done it before.”

“Yes, I know.” Curiosity had led you to find as much literature as you could about sex. You knew that you were a virgin, and you possibly had a hymen, and that could cause bleeding during your first time. You also knew that sex was supposed to feel really good. Loki made you feel good with just his fingers, and if the books were correct, intercourse was even better. “I read about it. I know what I’m asking.”

“Read about it where?” Loki quirked a brow.

You waved a hand. “I read your books when you’re not here. You have quite an extensive amount of material on sex.” If Loki had done half those things you had read, you knew you were in experienced hands. He would take care of you and do it well. “Will you do it?”

“I…I don’t know if I can,” Loki admitted. “Darling, you are gorgeous, and sweet, and I enjoy your company very much…”

Oh. Oh. Now you understood. You were so stupid to have not seen it before. His rescuing you was out of the goodness of his heart, as well as the need for company, but that was it. Your relationship with the god had grown throughout the time you had spent together. Loki was smart, sarcastic in a way that was hilarious and very protective of you. It was no real shocker that you had developed feelings for him. You had thought, stupidly, that he had felt the same for you. But you were wrong.

Loki did not care for you, because he was still pining over another.

“I’m sorry,” you told him, and the words came out as a sob that had his forehead creasing. “I made a mistake. You don’t like me; you still love Sylvie. I’m sorry.” You rose off his lap, shame and mortification burning your face.

“Hang on.” Loki held you fast by the waist, pulling you back into your seat. “How do you know about Sylvie?” There was a frown on his face. For a moment, you thought you upset him.

“Don’t be mad,” you started, causing his frown to deepen. “Mobius told me. He came to visit a day when you weren’t here and he slipped up and mentioned her. I pressed him to tell me, I’m sorry.” A myriad of emotions crossed his face. “Are you mad? Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not angry with you, little bird,” he promised. “Though, I will be having a chat with Mobius.”

You gasped. “Don’t prune him!”

“I’m not going to prune him, darling. Mobius is my friend.” Loki’s hands found your hips, thumbs rubbing circles into the silk of your nightgown. Though you were fine with cotton, Loki insisted you have the best. “I did love Sylvie, but that was ages ago. Decades, if I had to guess, since time works differently here.”

“What happened?” you asked softly. Loki shrugged.

“She was not happy here. We loved each other, but she wanted her parents and the life that was stolen from her. I could not abandon my post here, so I set her free. There were no hard feelings involved.”

“That so sad,” you empathized. “Weren’t you sad, Loki?”

The corner of his mouth turned up in melancholy. “For some time, yes. I moped around these grand halls and neglected my duties until Mobius and B-15 gave me a reality check. After that it got easier. Relationships end all the time. It’s nothing new.” Loki tapped your nose. “Meeting you helped a lot. I had decided to close myself off to love until you came along. With you here, that became a difficult task. I cannot help but care for you. It would be annoying if it did not bring me such peace.”

You smiled at Loki’s confession. “Really?”

“Yes, little bird.” He kissed your forehead. “I cannot recall the last time I thought about Sylvie in that way since you arrived. Perhaps her leaving was for the best.” Loki grew quiet then. A thoughtful expression took over his face, black brows furrowing in concentration. You smoothed the creases of his forehead out with your thumb.

“You’re thinking very hard.”

“Do you really want this?” he asked suddenly. “Do you really want me? You understand that things would change between us, and our living situation could become quite strained if it were to end badly.”

“It won’t,” you promised. “I trust you, Loki. I know you won’t hurt me.” You placed your head on his shoulder. “I want you.” You initiated the kiss this time, winding your hands up into his hair and letting him control the pace. His hands moved to your lower back. He held you against him carefully, like you were glass, and then pulled away.

“We can try,” he told you. “If it hurts, let me know.” You nodded enthusiastically.

“Okay!” He chuckled at your reaction, then tugged on your nightgown.

“Can I take this off?” You removed it without another word, baring your naked body to him. Loki smirked when he noticed you weren’t wearing underwear. “Cheeky little bird.” He ducked his head to pepper your neck with kisses. “Did you know you were going to get your way?”

“I was hoping.” Your voice was light, breaths quickened by Loki’s lips on your neck. He kissed the spot he had marked the last time and started sucking anew. You gasped, back arching into him. His hand danced up your stomach and cupped your breast, kneading the flesh in a tantalizing manner. The combination of his lips and palm had you growing wet in very little time. You needed contact, friction, and found it by grinding your pussy against his thigh. The fabric of his sleeping pants brushed against your clit with every pump of your hips.

“Naughty girl,” Loki teased. “Are you trying to get yourself off on my thigh? Is that what you want?”

“No. I want you fuck me.”

Loki rolled you both over so you were on your back. Your head hit a pillow, and another was placed beneath your hips. “Little bird,” Loki growled. “Those are verydirty words. Did you learn those in that book?”

“Yes,” you murmured. Your hands went to his waistband to untie the string. Loki took ahold of your wrists and secured them at your sides.

“Patience.” He skimmed your collarbone with his nose, eliciting a shiver from your body. Loki released your hands to spread your legs and settled between them. His elegant fingers trailed down to the apex of your thighs, stroking the soft curls between your legs. You felt another gush of wetness when he entered you with two fingers. “We need to get you ready.”

Loki began opening and closing his fingers in a scissoring manner. You whined and squirmed on the bed as your walls were stretched and relaxed in repetitive motions. He moved a finger to your clit then, and your hips shot off the bed. “Loki!”

“Hold on, little bird.” He pressed a hand against your lower abdomen to get your hips flat on the pillow. “I must taste you. Stay still.” Loki kissed a line from your throat all the way down the front of your body. You giggled when he reached your bellybutton.

“That tickles!” Loki removed his fingers from within you.

“What about this?” He licked a long stripe up your folds. “Does this tickle?”

“No,” you moaned. “No, it feels good.” He slid his fingers inside you again. With his mouth on your clit, he moved his tongue and fingers in tandem until you were tugging his hair with the utmost urgency. Right when you were about to crest, he stopped. Your eyes flew open in disbelief.

“What?” Loki asked. “I thought you wanted me to fuck you?” He stuck his thumbs in the waistband of his pants and pulled them off in one fluid motion. His penis sprang free, and your eyes widened. The pictures you had seen and descriptions you read did not prepared you for this. “What’s the matter? You’re looking at my cock like it’s going to bite you.”

“It’s a little ugly,” you replied, then clapped a hand over your mouth. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know where that came from!”

Instead of getting upset, Loki barked out a laugh. “That’s the first time I’ve had that reaction.” He leaned forward until his forehead rested on your own. His lips kissed yours once, then twice, then he looked into your eyes. “Still want to do this?”

“Yes,” you whispered. Your heart was pounding in your chest, palms sweaty, yet the overwhelming thought in your mind was how much you wanted Loki. “Yes, I still want to do this.”

“Okay.” He braced himself with one strong forearm above your head. His other hand grabbed his shaft, pressing the tip of his cock against your clit. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. A new wave of pleasure coursed through you with every circle of his tip, and your breathing sped up into a near pant. “Take ahold of me.“

“Huh?” You stared up at him through lidded eyes. “What?”

“Here.” He placed you hand against his cock. “Close your fingers around it. Good girl.” You were surprised to find that his hard length was hot and throbbed like a pulse against your skin. There was a big, blue vein spanning the length the looked two seconds away from bursting. “Now put it in.”

You looked at Loki with bashful eyes. “I-I don’t know how.”

“Don’t fret, little bird. I’ll help you.” His large hand encased your own as he aided you in guiding it to your entrance. Once there, he let go. “Just slip the tip in.” You brought him into you a little, gasping at the immediate stretch. It was a weird feeling. Not painful, but not pleasurable yet. You pushed more of him inside you experimentally, and this time he groaned. “Just like that. Good girl.”

“It feels weird,” you told him. “Is it supposed to feel weird?” Loki rubbed your clit with his thumb. Once again, you felt your pussy begin to throb with need. You needed more of him-all of him- inside of you. “Loki, I need-”

“I’ll take it from here, little bird. You did well.” He returned your hand to your side and placed his hand on your hip. The other was still above your head to keep his weight off you. “Kiss me.” You did, and felt him begin a rhythm. He would pull out just a little, causing an empty ache within you, then push right back in to quell it. Each time he pushed in he went a little deeper. Loki continue this method until he reached a distance inside of you that had you breaking the kiss.

“Ow!” You winced and pushed against his abdomen. “Loki, that hurts!” None of your books had described it like this. They mentioned discomfort, maybe a little soreness, but none had told you losing your virginity felt like being stabbed with a very tiny knife.

“I know, darling. I’m sorry.” His hips paused, waiting for your permission to go further. “Do you wish to stop? There are other ways I can take care of you. We don’t have to do this.”

“No!” Your fingers grabbed onto his shoulders. “I don’t want to stop. I just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

“Here.” He flatted a palm against your lower stomach. Green seidr flowed out from his hand and into you. The pain within you disappeared. All you were left with was the feel of him inside of you and the desperate need for more. “That should be better.”

“Much,” you agreed. “C-can you keep moving?” Loki pulled his hips back and thrusted in without another word. He was fully sheathed now. You lay beneath him with your eyes closed, basking in the feel of his thumb against your clit. It shocked you when, just a few thrusts later, rapture built within you. “Oh Gods!”

“There we go,” Loki grunted. “That’s what I wanted to hear. Tell me how it feels, darling.”

“S-so good!” you gasped. “Loki, so good!” You never knew pleasure could be this great. Every drag of Loki’s shaft against your walls had the feeling blooming anew. It was hard to believe this hurt a second ago, and you understood now why people wrote so many books about sex. It was like finding heaven and tasting hell all in the same go. You never wanted it to end.

“Feel this,” Loki murmured. He grabbed your hips and angled towards the right. Your entire body jerked. He hit it again, and again, and soon your body was contracted in one long, continuous stream of bliss. You knew he had to be hitting your G-spot. Some of the works you read mentioned it, but not all authors believed it existed. They clearly never had sex with Loki Laufeyson. He had no trouble proving its existence.

“You’re so tight now,” he groaned. “Fuck, I can feel your walls squeezing me. You’re close.” You were. Between the foreplay, thrusting and playing with your clit, Loki had wound your body to a point where the only end was release. You felt like you were standing near a cliff on a hot day, and the only way to reach the cool water below was to let yourself fall… fall… fall…

“Shit!” The curse left your lips before you could stop it. Your entire body felt like it was going to cave in on itself. Stars exploded behind your eyelids. A whine filled the air—high-pitched and screechy—and it took a while to realize it was coming from you. Your lower body squeezed for what felt like ages before it released. When your hips hit the bed again, Loki let out his own curse.

“Fuck.” His thrusts had long grown sloppy. “Fuck, fuck!” He pulled out of you like you burnt him and let his now flaccid penis rest on your stomach. A milky white liquid spilled out of the tip, pooling near your bellybutton. You reached down to touch it. It felt sticky, warm, and you brought it to your lips for a taste. You regretted it as soon as the salty taste burst on your tongue.

“Ew!” You cringed. “That’s disgusting.” Loki laughed.

“What did you expect it to taste like? Chocolate?” You frowned. Loki waved a hand to clean his seed off your stomach. “Better?” He rested his palm on your forehead, smoothing back the hair stuck to it with sweat. You leaned up to kiss him softly, passionately—like you would open your eyes at any minute and this would all have been a dream. When the kiss was over, Loki looked a little stunned. “What was that for?”

“Just to say thank you,” you told him. “For this. For making me feel safe and taking care of me. It was amazing.” Loki smiled at you, that wide grin that crinkled his eyes and stretched his lips up over most of his face.”

“My pleasure, little bird.” He rubbed his nose against your own. “Would you care to take a bath with me?”

Taking a bath with Loki did sound like a fun idea. Besides the sex, it was a step in the direction you wanted to go. However, your body was spent from the new activity, and you were quite sure your legs had turned to jelly beneath you. “Can we just lie here for a bit? I’m a little tired.”

“Of course.” Loki adjusted himself so he was on his back, allowing you to throw a leg over his torso and place your head on his chest. “I just started a new book,” he informed you. “Shall I read it to you from the beginning and we can continue it together?”

“Mhm-hmm.”

Loki kissed your forehead. He opened the book to the first page and began to read aloud. “No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are…”

ooOOoo

Loki awoke late in the night from a rather disturbing dream. He reached his hand out for you, only to find your side of the bed empty. That made him sit up. His eyes roamed over the pulled back duvet and rumpled bedsheets with a frown. “Little bird? Are you in the bathroom?” No answer, and no sound from the en suite either. Loki sighed. He grabbed his discarded sleeping pants from the floor and set off in search of you.

It did not take long to find you. As soon as he stepped outside, he heard your voice and followed it to your old room. Loki lifted a brow. You had not slept in there since you had first asked him to make love to you a month ago. After that, your room had been delegated to a guest room and you had moved into his. Therefore, he was very confused to find you curled up in the centre of the bed with a book, wrapped in nothing but a sheet.

“Darling?” The song stopped. Your head lifted to him with a smile. “What are you doing here? It’s so late.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you answered. “I went walking around and ended up here.”

Loki frowned. “Why didn’t you wake me?” He sat on the bed next to you, fingers brushing the fresh hickeys on your neck from your round of love making just a few hours ago. “I would’ve stayed up with you.”

“No, you were tired. You’ve been running around all week trying to stop Kang from making a mess of things. I wasn’t going to wake you. Besides,” you tapped the leather-bound book held to your chest, “I have my book.”

Loki ran a finger over the brown bindings. Dust coated the flat pad of skin. “This doesn’t look like the ones you usually read.”

“It’s not. But,” you sat up, clutching the book tighter to your chest, “I found something else we can try. Would you like to see?” Loki nodded. You were so excited to show him your discovery that it was impossible to say no.

“Sure, little bird.” You let the book fall backward so he could see… and his jaw dropped. Loki’s eyes roamed the page, then darted to yours. He knew what he was seeing and wanted to make sure you were looking at the same thing. “Are those…”

“Yes!” There was nothing but exhilaration in every fiber of your being. “Babies!”

A/N: A kiss from Loki to anyone who knows what book he was reading.

Taglist: @howdidurhammergrowchris @sharris8 @theiamischief

[frostsorcery]

Just for fun, here’s everything from Waldron’s sci-fi script that got forced into the Loki series

Starting with things that appeared on his script and we didn’t see in the show, but were discussed in the writers room:

•the main character time traveling to fuck around with people/ be a douchebag

•Time traveling sex montages (is he 12??🤢)

Sylvie’s character:

•literally everything about sylvie was copy and pasted from this script. Nothing was formed in the writers room.

•She is the only female character in most of her scenes and is typed as an action girl (every woman in the Loki series is typed as an action girl)

•The main female character was

orphaned as a child, so she grew up alone in an apocalyptic superstore

•Her only emotion is anger, and her only motivation is to kill the big man in power, and she’ll kill any and everyone who gets in her way (but this is never framed as bad, because the main male character is uhhh so much worse??)

•She curses often (which is meant to seem gritty and bad ass but mostly comes off as childish)

•She loses her ability to complete her mission because she suddenly, for no reason at all, fell in love with the main male character (in the script she’s actually overcome with unexplainable lust, which I’m sure Waldron would have loved to include on screen*)

•She hates the main male character immensely and is constantly yelling at him for being an idiot, but her uncontrollable desire to fuck him stops her from doing anything against him

•She wouldn’t be satisfied after killing the man she wants to kill more than anything, with no as to explanation why this wouldn’t be good for her

•She gets stranded at a dangerous point in time with no time travel equipment (and the main male character is the reason for it)

Loki’s character (I want to be clear that this is the Loki we see in the series, not the normal loki):

•The main male character is painted as a relentless narcissistic asshole who is just. So lonely on the inside. Yup that’s it, being secretly lonely but still an awful person is as complex as he gets. He commits atrocities for attention but lacks emotional connection to others because he’s just bad™

•The only way the main male character is developed is through sudden romance (just the same as sylvie, love in the script is actually just lust. There’s a lot of gratuitous nudity and erections. This writer is so. Damn. Immature.*)

•Evil president version of the main character meeting a less powerful version of themself from another time (and that version being softer because he fell in love*)

Others:

•The entire aesthetic focus is put on a trash/apocalypse world

•The dialogue is very basic, most of the characters speak like 12 year olds (and in the series nobody is speaking in a way that is realistic for an asgardian or an all powerful cosmic agency)

•There is a “sit down and catch up” moment where the main characters (who definitely have bigger problems atm) are meant to have a date and fall in love*

•Another character is extremely disturbed by the relationship between the two main characters and goes on a tangent about how twisted they are

•The romance lacks buildup despite being the focus of the story, it just happens because the writer wants it to happen and that fact is hard to ignore as you watch the story unfold (in the script even the main characters don’t understand why they want to be together)

Overall I don’t think I can respect Waldron as a writer because everything about the basic premise of the Loki series, aside from the TVA, was based off of this script. In interviews he says loki is essentially the same as this character who he himself describes as “worst than hitler.” Good writers research before they form a story about an existing character, not after.

*I think Michael Waldron would succeed as a writer for P0rnHub

[mattbreathsmarvel]

Imagine feeling all that guilt, grief, and angst all at the same time? Mobius never got the chance to confess or even the chance to hear what Loki wanted to say. Not only mobius but all marvel characters. They just never get a break.

For example:

Loki: being lied to, hurt, mistreated, and misunderstood all his life and when he finally got a family at the TVA, even that was taken away from him. And just after he realized that he’s just scared of being alone, he sacrifices himself to be alone at the end of time. Oh and if that wasn’t bad enough HE WAS A FUCKING CHILD OF THANOS FOR A WHILE

Peter: After losing his parents, his uncle, then his aunt, he found a family, lost that, and he FELT IT WHEN HE BLIPPED woke up only to find that tony was dead. And made everyone he lives forget him.

Thor: Being expected to be perfect growing up, he lost his brother, lost his mother, lost his brother (again) lost his father, lost his brother in vain while Loki was sacrificing himself so that he would have a chance to live, and then he lost well, everything. Also, he lost the woman he loved.

Natasha: GREW UP IN THE RED ROOM, found a family before she took her own life.

Sylvie: She was kidnapped when she was a child and she grew up in APOCALYPSES.

The point is, I could go on and on and on, listing every character and their traumas.

This is my message to marvel. LET YOUR FUCKING CHARACTERS BE HAPPY.

Do you think it will haunt Mobius forever that he said it is Loki’s turn to go to the loom?

Do you think he blames himself and feels responsible?

Do you think he wished he would go instead, even if that meant death? 👀

—-

Because it was hardly any time for Mobius between that conversation and Loki going to the loom. It’s like he just followed Mobius’ command…

[brettsey-two-tts]

I'm still ugly crying over the finale and then came across this video in insta that I desperately need a Brettsey fic written of (if you're so inclined)

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdpVMrlIVs1/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

No worries if you don't want to 💜

Sylvie and Matt loved their daughter fiercely. The moment she was born, they didn’t hesitate to share her with their beloved firehouse family. Everyone cooed and awed at the miniature version of the parents because with Sylvie’s blonde hair and Matt’s blue eyes it really wasn’t hard to tell.

Sylvie transitioned from maternity leave to paternity leave, wanting to be with their daughter as much as humanly possible before she was forced to go back to work. Their daughter, Olivia, wasn’t fussy and was normally very quiet, which was something they did not expect at all. During the late stages of Sylvie’s pregnancy, she and Matt dreaded the nights when they would be jolted awake by sharp cries but seldomly did it happen. After feeding, Matt would carry her against his shoulder and she’d fall asleep almost instantly. Sylvie spent every single second doting her husband from afar as he carefully lowered their daughter into her crib; it was when she noticed his tendency to linger at the peaceful sight of his sleeping daughter. (When she asked what he was thinking about, he told her, ‘Everything’. He was basking in the wholeness of his family and all the unconditional love that surrounded them. He felt so very lucky.)

On the days that Matt had to go to work, he spent at least ten minutes saying goodbye to his wife and his daughter. Their daughter would reach out to him, expecting him to hold her and carry her around the house, but since he had to leave for work soon, he couldn’t. He would eventually give in and carry her for a minute or two, but the moment he had to give her back to Sylvie, it felt like his heart was crumbling. As he drove off in his truck, he’d look in the rear view mirror and see Sylvie and Olivia waving goodbye at him. Knowing how dangerous his job was, he’d whisper his promise to return to them.

When Matt returned the next day, he would spend all morning with his daughter, telling her how much he missed her and how much he loved her. One day, after putting Olivia down for her afternoon nap, he confessed to Sylvie how much he missed them and how weird it was being at the firehouse while they were at home. She tried to do her best to console and reassure her husband, but she could practically see his heart break in two, so she did her best to cheer him up during his long shifts by sending him pictures of her and Olivia throughout the day.

.

.

.

When Olivia turned one year old, Stella and Violet thought it was a cute idea to see what type of firefighter she would want to be when she grew up. They put three objects on the table: a children’s firefighter helmet, a stethoscope, and a navy blue kids hat that said ‘Squad 3’. Even though it was just for fun, Matt and Sylvie vowed to support their daughter in whatever she wanted to do in the future. Before they brought Olivia to the table, their daughter’s eyes were already set on one particular object. As they brought her closer, Matt watched in awe as Olivia immediately reached for the small firefighter’s helmet. His heart absolutely soared at the sight of his daughter looking so happy in her new shiny red helmet, and when her sparkling blue eyes met his thereafter and the words ‘Dada’ excitedly left her lips, he teared up. It wasn’t until Sylvie cooed at how cute she looked and asked, “You want to be a firefighter like Daddy?”, did tears roll down his cheeks.

On a particular day, one that Sylvie used furlough for to give Cindy Herrmann a day off of having to watch their daughter, Matt spent his usual ten minutes saying goodbye. He kissed Olivia on the head, ruffled her hair a bit, and basked in her tiny giggles, and then he kissed Sylvie softly on the lips for a little longer than usual.

His gaze lingered on his wife and soon, a loving smile appeared. “I love you,” he said softly. There was a twinkle in his eye as his head lolled a bit to the side, almost silently hinting at another kiss. He loved Sylvie so much; while they were cuddled under the sheets and awaiting slumber, he’d often tell her how much he loved her and how thankful he was to have someone like her as his wife and as his daughter’s mother. His dream of having a family came true and he never failed to show Sylvie how lucky he felt.

Sylvie adoringly beamed at her husband. “I love you, too, Matt.” Their lips met a few more times before they reminded themselves of their tiny human between them.

“Wuw you, Dada!” Olivia squeaked with a wet smile.

Matt and Sylvie’s ears perked and then their eyes widened in shock. Up until then, Olivia had only said ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada’ and sometimes ‘Yeryer’ (her stuffed tiger that she often carried around).

“Did she just…?” Matt asked in awe.

Sylvie’s grin widened at the realization. “She did!” She smoothed out her daughter’s blonde hair and gave her cheek a kiss. “Can you say it again, Olivia?” Both of them held their breath as they watched closely in anticipation.

A moment passed before Olivia looked between her parents and happily repeated, ‘Wuw you!’.

She didn’t know what the words meant and almost looked confused why her parents were excitedly smothering her with hugs and kisses. Sylvie bounced their daughter in her arms as they celebrated her new words and when she returned her gaze to Matt, she felt her heart stop. Matt was smiling warmly at their daughter as love and affection seemed to visibly pour out of his chest. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, tears welled in his eyes, and he gasped a couple of breaths. He looked so incredibly happy.

He held his emotions behind pressed lips and almost choked out, “I don’t know if I can leave for work, Sylvie.”

Sylvie chuckled softly and moved closer to her husband so they could sandwich their daughter between them. Matt wrapped his arms around the both of them and kissed Olivia’s head.

“We’ll be here when you get back,” she reassured him.

Matt reluctantly left, but not without smothering his daughter in wet and sloppy kisses that he knew would make her giggle.

That adorably infectious bubbly giggling sound replayed in his head many times during his shift and it made him miss them that much more. Stella picked up on her Captain’s small pouts and frowns, and when she asked him if everything was okay, he practically gushed about Olivia’s new words. He confessed that he felt horrible for leaving afterward and continued to let out lengthy sighs. It wasn’t the first time she had seen Matt look so sad; his depressed mood was practically expected after entering fatherhood. So, she tried to think of a way to cheer him up, but truth be told, there was only one thing, or rather two things, that could cheer him up. Stella confided in Violet about her plan and together, the two called in a favor.

Later that same day, Truck and Ambo were called out to a small fire. What started out as a small grease pan fire turned into a full-blown kitchen fire. Thankfully, all that was needed was a good hosing from a fire extinguisher and some assessment from a couple of paramedics.

With the situation in the kitchen very much under control, Matt walked out of the house to see if Violet and the floater needed any extra help.

“We’re good over here,” Violet told him as they were wrapping up one of the victims.

Matt nodded in acknowledgment and turned around to talk to Stella about the situation in the kitchen.

“Any clean-up needed?” Matt curiously asked.

Stella shook her head. “The fire pretty much charred the walls and melted most of the surrounding appliances but the ceiling looked decent. They should definitely think about remodeling.”

Matt looked like he was about to smirk at her comment until something out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention. He did a double-take at the familiar red firefighter’s helmet and blonde hair. His heart fluttered and a beaming grin immediately spread across his face as he watched his daughter run up to him in sneakers, a lilac skirt, and a little white CFD shirt (Sylvie tried to mimic his white Captain polo), all while wearing her red firefighter’s helmet on her head.

His heart skipped and soared at the image of his daughter practically dressed like him (sans turnout gear). He looked so incredibly happy as he bent down to pick her up. “Hi, Sweetpea. What are you doing here? Did you already learn how to drive?” He turned to his wife that was cautiously trailing behind their daughter to make sure she didn’t fall and flashed a very surprised look. “Hi, Honey,” he greeted her with a grin that could only get bigger and bigger. “What are you guys doing here?”

Sylvie, dressed in a pair of faded denim jeans, a white blouse, and tennis shoes, mimicked her husband’s elated smile. “Stella and Violet said you were missing your family a lot, so they texted me when you guys got called out. They figured you could use a pick-me-up during your long shift.”

Matt’s eyebrows raised at the mention and gave Stella a curious look. Stella shrugged nonchalantly, as if the whole thing was no big deal, and replied, “We can’t have our Captain lose his morale, now can we?” She was honestly just happy to see her Captain smile again.

Sylvie looked on proudly as she encouragingly and gently asked their daughter, “Do you remember what we practice today, Olivia? Can you tell Daddy?”

While the red firefighter’s hat looked a little too big for Olivia’s head, she nonetheless looked up at her dad, who was wearing his own helmet, and said in a soft murmur, “Wuw you, Dada”. Matt gasped in awe; words nearly clogged in his throat as he hugged Olivia to his chest, despite his turnout gear, and replied, “I love you, too, Sweetpea.”

Stella watched Sylvie move closer to Matt as they privately basked in the overwhelming cuteness that was their daughter. She then offered to take a picture of the family and was soon handed Sylvie’s phone. If Stella could note one thing about her observation of Matt Casey and his daughter, it was that Olivia Casey had her dad completely and utterly wrapped around her little finger.

[syllvane]

muscle memory pt. 3- sylvie x reader

a/n: i said i was going to post tomorrow but i couldn’t help myself. anyways, spoilers for episode 2 and 3 of loki, minor spoilers for the beginning of episode 3. final word count is 1.7k words!

read the previous part  read the next part   read the series  

“How is Loki doing?” You asked Mobius, walking with him to the mess hall.

“He’s doing great. Making real progress, I would say.”

“Didn’t you have to have a meeting with Renslayer this morning because of his actions?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. His face scrunched up for a second.

“It’s like every time he is making progress, he takes two steps back.”

“That sounds more believable. You still think he’s worth all the trouble though?”

Mobius sighed slightly. “I really do believe in him. It’s not just an issue of whether I believe in him though, it’s whether Ravonna and the Timekeepers do.”

“Oh, you’re on first name basis now, with Renslayer?” You turned and grinned at Mobius, who immediately flushed after realizing his mistake.

“Not a word of this to anyone.” He said strictly, although there was a smile on his face as well.

“Yeah, yeah.” You said, standing in line with Mobius as he ordered his lunch before sitting down at a two-seat table. “Ravonna and Mobius-”

“C-7.” Mobius said strictly, although you could tell he was partly amused by your antics.

You continued in the same quiet, sing-songy voice as before.

“-on a jet ski. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

Mobius finished taking a sip of his drink and then applauded quietly, so as to not draw attention.

“Has anyone ever told you that you truly have all the originality of a grade-schooler?”

Before you could answer, you were interrupted by a tall man with long dark hair speed walking over to where Mobius and you were sitting.

Although he seemed to be in a hurry, you could tell that he was sizing up everybody in the room, including yourself.

“I found- oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there. Would you mind moving so that me and my partner could discuss something?” He asked politely, even smiling.

You locked eyes with him, smiling back at him.

“I’m good, thanks. You can just pull up a chair.”

His smile wavered and he maintained eye contact for a couple of moments longer before breaking it, going to a different table and pulling over a chair.

(You ignored the pointed look Mobius shot at you, like he was asking you to be the bigger person here. Unfortunately for him, you had no such intentions.)

“Right. I know how the Variant is hiding.”

Mobius leaned back.

“Talk about burying the lead. How?”

Loki smiled slightly, this smile much different from his last- he was proud of himself.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” 

There was a moment of silence. You and Mobius exchanged a glance.

“Which one? There’s like a million all across history.” Mobius pointed out and Loki took a second to compose himself before starting his explanation.

You sat back as he explained his reasoning, watching with amusement as he put more salt and pepper into Mobius’ salad, handing him your own drink when he realized that Mobius’ drink was empty.

He gave you a nod of recognition and Mobius sent you another, even more exasperated glance as Loki poured your drink into the salad (although, in your opinion, seeing Loki grin like that made it worth it).

                                                             —— “How was Pompeii?” You asked, not even having to look up from the apocalypse case files to figure out that it was Loki who was approaching you.

He stopped for a minute, almost taken aback by your observation, before continuing and taking a seat in front of you.

“I was right, naturally.”

You scoffed slightly.

“Naturally.”

You looked up at him to find that his piercing eyes were already looking at you, almost curiously.

“You’re already sorting through the apocalypse files.”

“Naturally occurring disasters with no survivors, cross-referenced with the candy that Mobius picked up. You were confident that you were right so I figured I should start looking.”

Loki raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly.

“You’re smarter than you look. Could’ve saved me and Mobius some time.” 

“He forgot to cross-reference?”

He nodded, hesitating for a moment before he grabbed some of the files that you hadn’t started looking over yet.

You looked at him appreciatively, though he wasn’t looking at you anymore. 

The two of you sat there, looking at the case files in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Mobius walked into your office as well.

“What’s this?” Mobius asked, taking a cursory glance at the file on top.

“Kablooie.” You said simply and Mobius sighed slightly, frustrated that he hadn’t thought of it.

He grabbed a couple of files as well, standing up as he started reading.

“I think I have something,” Loki said a couple of minutes later, splaying the case out on your desk so that everyone could see. “Class ten apocalypse. Alabama, 2050.”

You looked it over and even just with a cursory glance, you could tell that this is where the Variant was hiding- you looked over at Mobius and saw pride on his face.

“You’re gonna take my job if I’m not careful.”

“Now to pitch it to Renslayer.” You said and Mobius nodded, already halfway out of your office. He closed the door behind him and you looked at Loki. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this excited in a while. In fact, the last time I saw him this excited, I think we saw a jet ski on a mission.”

Loki smiled to himself, though the expression disappeared when he looked back at you.

“And what about you?”

“Hm?” You tilted your head slightly, caught off-guard by the question.

“What excites you?” 

You held his gaze for a couple of moments, feeling uncomfortable with how he looked at you, as if he knew something about you that you didn’t know about yourself. 

You finally looked away, standing up.

“We should go meet Mobius. We’ll be heading out as soon as he gets the approval.”

“You say this like it’s a sure thing.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Renslayer say no to him. Come on.”

                                                          ——

The rain sounded a hundred times louder when you were listening to it hit the roof of the Roxxcart, so loud that you could barely hear the sound of your own voice above the noise.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, positioning your reset baton defensively. The man standing by the plants seemed to hesitate slightly, although he was still much too calm for this kind of weather.

“Hurricane sale. Azaleas are half-off.”

“Could that be you?” You asked Loki, your eyes never leaving the man. Although his eyes continued to look between you and Loki, his gaze lingered on you longer.

“I… mean… I would’ve worn a suit, but it could be.”

You took a couple steps towards the man and he backed up, looking at you pleadingly.

“I don’t want to do this.” He said quietly and you tilted your head slightly, confused.

You took another step towards him.

“What-”

He grabbed your arm and a warm feeling came over your body.

A woman’s voice in your head lulled you to sleep, promising to bring you home and then everything went dark.

…

“Sylv, why are you acting so weird?” You asked, taking another sip of wine.

The blonde woman across from you smiled, although you could tell that she was forcing it for your sake.

“Another one of my suitors came and visited me today.” She said. You made a face and she laughed slightly.

“Complete fools, every one of them.”

“Fools for being deeply in love with me?” She asked, raising an eyebrow, almost as if she was allowing herself to play the part for a couple of brief moments.

“No, I’m above self-flagellation. They’re fools for thinking that they could ever win your heart.”

She laughed.

“And why is that?”

You leaned back in your chair.

“I have it on very good account that someone already has it.” You said and Sylvie‘s smile faded and her gaze didn’t quite meet yours, almost as if her mind was preoccupied elsewhere.

She looked back at you, her look apologetic.

The scene around you grew distorted, nothing quite clear anymore.

“I’m sorry.”

Her words repeated everywhere around you like you were in an echo chamber rather than…

Rather than…

Where were you?

The blonde woman that had been there a moment ago disappeared and with her, everything else.

…

When you came to, Mobius was kneeling beside you, waiting for you to wake up.

“C-7… are you okay?” He asked slowly, looking at you with more concern than you think anyone else ever has.

You propped yourself up and you looked around wildly for Loki or for the blonde woman- Sylvie- who had been in your head.

“Where are they?” You asked and you hated how desperate your voice sounded.

“They escaped. Take it easy, the Variant did a number on-”

“Mobius, I have to find her.” You said, trying to stand up only to be overwhelmed with nausea and dizziness.

Mobius supported you, keeping you from falling back onto the ground.

“I know. And we will, but we have more pressing issues right now. Come on.”

You didn’t protest, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to convince Mobius even if you promised to get him a jet ski afterwards.

What you had to do now, you would do alone.

He helped you through the portal back to the TVA and the rest of your team followed, all of them being immediately assigned to different Nexus events that were happening simultaneously.

You, being injured, were given the pass to stay back at the TVA. 

You wondered if the Timekeepers knew what you were about to do, if they could’ve predicted it- after all, they were the ones who had made you, right?

You headed to the sector of the TVA where they issued TemPads, looking at the data of where all the TemPads were jumping to and from when you stumbled upon something odd- there was a TemPad that only had one jump registered in its entire history.

TVA to Lamentis-1, 2077.

Huh.

The Variant- Sylvie- whatever her name was, must’ve found out a way to stop the TemPad from feeding data into the system, but it must’ve reset when she jumped to the TVA.

You grabbed one of the TemPad’s that were out of commission for charging, unplugging it. 

It was low on battery, but it would have to do.

You opened a portal for yourself using the exact same coordinates and time that they had put in and without any hesitation, you walked through.

[small-round-and-angry]

My opinions about the Loki (2021) series. Spoilers and all that.

I took some time off the fandom until I felt it was time to make this post, if only to get it out of my system, so I can finally rest. I thought, since I was so pumped for the series to begin with, before it was launched and everything, and how I waited to expectantly for every episode that was airing weekly, that the empty feeling I was experiencing after it was all done was just because, well, it was all done.

I thought maybe it was the normal empty-chested-feeling you get when you finish a movie, series, or book that you really liked / waited a lot for.

It was not it. It didn’t pass. It got worse.

I’m going to put this under a cut, and under the anti-tags, because I know some people liked this show and not everyone has to be miserable with me.

I want to preface this by saying that I respect everyone that was involved in this project, and I know that it may be gut-wrenching to receive criticism on something that you worked in, but I feel cheated. I feel lied to. It’s one thing to work hard and be thoughtful and still receive bad reviews, but I don’t think this is the case at all.

To start it all, I was so excited to see Loki again. He’s the only character that I maintained any attachment to throughout so long, sometimes more, sometimes less, but I always considered myself a fan since I saw The Avengers (2012) with my parents in the theaters, at the ripe age of 12. To be honest, Loki was what got me into superhero movies, and into the marvel fandom at all. And I knew, or at least suspected, that they would do something different with the character. I was ready for that, after reading the comics and realizing that MCU Loki and Comics Loki are two different versions of the same character (more on that later). And I thought it was even going to be for the best, since Tom Hiddleston, bless his heart, was one of the executive producers and, I thought, would have more of a say on Loki’s character arc during the series.

What I watched was, to be completely fair with myself, not Loki. I couldn’t really pinpoint it at the time, but I keep expecting something to happen after he was captured by the TVA to show us his mind at work. A scheme, a plan, anything remotely smart that he cooked up. And yet, nothing. He kept acting…Not Loki. As time passed, I hoped he was biding his time, fooling everyone, that he would reveal his masterplan at the season finale and go back to the main timeline. The series ended and I didn’t see Loki, any of them, act as Loki once.

Maybe it’s because I am a fan of the older version of MCU Loki. The darker, more complicated one. I didn’t want a redeeming arc at all, I don’t think all villains or anti villains need a redeeming arc. That’s boring. And, to my interpretation of his character, shouldn’t be in his future at all. Loki thrives on the gray area. I love not knowing what he is to the other characters, the chaos, the lying and manipulation, the grand schemes. This new content we’ve been getting, since Ragnarok, depict him as a more comedic, campy character (which is …fine? Meh, I don’t care for it).

And of course, that’s not to say Tom Hiddleston didn’t do a good job. Poor man did his best with what was given to him by the writers. It’s hard to keep a character consistent, however, when every director and screenwriter seems to have a different idea of who they are. He kept it together fairly well when Taika attempted to assassinate Loki’s character, but Kate Herron snapped his neck harder than Thanos ever could. And for what?

Sylvie.

Now, hear me out. There’s nothing wrong with the concepts of Sylvie, Lady Loki, and a Love interest. Separately. In trying to bring everything together in one character, the writers not only could not come up with a compelling woman character, but also had to bring down an already well established character, the TITULAR character, no less, so she could look somewhat presentable, which is insulting. And they Still failed. I don’t like the pairing either, but that’s not what I’m talking about (right now). The truth is, I don’t know Sylvie. She just got here, I have no emotional attachment to her whatsoever, so I won’t feel for her the same I feel for Loki, who’ve I watched for almost a decade. And instead of trying to build an emotional connection between Sylvie and the viewer, they chose to spoon-feed us a romance between her and Loki.

Well, more between Loki and Her, and not even that. I felt like Loki was always trailing her like a lost puppy, and big eyes and expectations, and she was giving him…Absolutely nothing. All the sweet moments between them were initiated by him, all the talking about feeling were done by him, all the looks and gestures…And although I understand Sylvie grew up in apocalypses and Loki grew up in a palace, she still claimed to have romantic partners. Multiple, man and women. And still, showed no visible interest in Loki up until the kiss scene, which I suspect was more to shut him up and send him flying that anything.

Excuse me if I want Loki to have a love interest who is actually invested in him too.

And Why make her a Loki variant at all if she is adamant she isn’t Loki? Why go to the extent of dying her hair blonde (where in the apocalypse did she manage to get her hair blonde? WHY?) and then give her horns? If she was taken as a child, where did she get the very Asgardian like leather armor she used? WHERE IS THIS INFORMATION?

If they were going to go so far to alienate her from the identity of being a Loki variant just so they could pair her with Loki and it not be weird (it was), why make her a variant at all? If you’re going to make a selfcest pairing, at least commit to it. Sylvie Lushton, from where they got the name, isn’t a Loki Variant, if anything She’s an Amora Variant. Why name her Sylvie if she has no relation to Amora?

The plot has so many holes and is so disappointing. I was promising Loki playing around and causing havoc with time traveling. When I saw Richard E. Grant had been cast, I imagined the big bad would be King Loki, like in the comics! Something about Loki seeing what he becomes if he let darkness completely consume him, and finding balance in his chaos, after all. The premise of Loki healing though observing himself, or variants of himself, was honestly good. His variants, however, where so underused, poorly used, made Loki look like a fool. Even he was ashamed of their interactions. And Kid Loki apparently Killed Thor, which makes him the leader (???) and that’s never mentioned again. President Loki, who was a big part of the appeal of the trailer, is gone in two minutes. And then there’s the mirror scene from the trailer, that didn’t even make it to the series.

There are other things that bother me a lot about this too, but it’s not my place to discuss them in dept. To list, if anyone is interested in knowing: The underdevelopment of black character, and the reaction of the fandom, to my knowledge, to said black characters, in special Ravonna and Boastful Loki. The misrepresentation of gender fluid people, which if I can recall was one of the points they sold to us as something they would touch into Loki’s characterization. Some people have pointed out that it was biphobic to pair Loki with a woman after he “came out” on screen as bisexual. I am bisexual, and I disagree, but I can see why it’s an issue for a lot of people, as mlm relationships are rare in MCU canon. What I thought was Biphobic, however, was having Loki not show us he was bi, rather than telling us.

In summary, I am very disappointed, and I am mourning. This series managed to do what End Game didn’t, which was kill all hope I had to ever have Loki back. He’s gone.

[hashtag-anthems]

Gonna put this under a readmore to spare you all the novel lol

Back when I first started watching Marvel movies, phase 2 had already started (I caught up in time to see TDW in theaters) and for reasons that are going into my memoir, Loki clicked for me as soon as I saw him on screen. I hyperfixated. I drew so much art and wrote fanfiction and I even sculpted a scale replica Chitauri scepter in my high school art class (which my art teacher broke. twice. and I’ve never forgiven her).

And the fandom felt very close-knit, at least where I found my place in it, because it was kind of cringe to be so invested in a villain? I was one of those kids that frequented the imagine-loki blog and was very much infatuated with the idea of “I have very few friends and my family is abusive and I feel so alone, and the thought that a villain who’s mean to everyone would care enough to be nice to me of all people is getting me through my awkward teenage years.”

I grew up, and my Loki fandom mutuals gradually deactivated, abandoned their blogs, or moved on to other fandoms. A lot of them moved to Twitter, which I never really figured out. Around the time I started college, I was reading more actual Norse myths and figuring out I wasn’t cis and it was nice to see fans interpreting MCU!Loki and gender-fluid more akin to myth!Loki. My favorite guy was just like me for real.

I was pretty good at curating my online experience, so if I ever saw things that upset me, I just blocked and moved on, or filtered the tag, or otherwise removed it from my online spaces. Then Civil War happened, and I took a hiatus from tumblr entirely, because there was So Much Negativity in the greater MCU fandom that I just needed a break from everything. I’ve always liked Iron Man in the MCU, and I was tired of seeing people making moral judgements about people based on which fictional characters they liked. When I cut out tumblr, I cut out the remnants of my connections to the Loki fandom.

I came back, unfollowed a lot of people, and got busy with other fandoms (namely a certain reboot of an old anime that had one of the most toxic fandoms I’ve ever been in and shall remain unnamed but iykyk 😂) but I had a few Loki fics I was still following. I was kind of detached from the fandom at large at that point. I was reading on Ao3 and I published a single fic.

I saw Ragnarok in theaters with my friends. They all loved it. In the moment, I didn’t have a bad experience per se, I laughed a lot and had a good time being out with my friends, but I felt a sort of twinge in my chest seeing most of what was happening to Loki. It wasn’t my favorite movie. I liked the tone of the first two Thor movies. This was so drastically different that I didn’t really feel a connection between it and the previous two.

And everyone I heard talking about it was celebrating that Loki finally got to be chaotic and silly and a trickster and I was like… I guess? It felt alienating. I was already falling out of love with the MCU. Now I didn’t even have my favorite franchise to keep me around.

I saw Black Panther four times in theaters. The fourth time, my local theater had their first showing of Infinity War at 6 pm on release day, so I got a ticket to see Black Panther that afternoon and went right into Infinity War at 6. I dressed up in all of my Loki gear. I was ready. I was so excited. I still had faith in the MCU.

I finally made my exit from the MCU fandom as a whole when Loki had five minutes of screen time in Infinity War, and I read online that they killed off Iron Man and Black Widow in Endgame, so I didn’t bother watching it. The spell was broken.

I promised myself that I would watch the Loki series when it came out, because he was my favorite, and I was willing to give it a chance. I was already pretty far removed from the fandom, but I tentatively dipped my metaphorical toes back in, and I didn’t last long. I made it through four episodes of the Sylvie show before I gave up.

I’ve never been harassed for my thoughts on Ragnarok, mostly because I’ve been too afraid of the current climate to interact with anyone or really post any of my thoughts. In real life I’ve dared to say that the MCU has sloppy writing with no continuity when their original whole selling point was continuity, and friends have dismissed it with “is it bad writing or do you just not like it?” Like, I’m not a professional writer, but I do have a decade of developing my skill behind me so far, so I think I’m allowed to say I’m at least somewhat knowledgeable on the subject 😂

So yeah. I’m scared to interact with anyone in the fandom anymore, whether I agree with them or not 😅

Hey, so I'm planning on making a video essay about why the Loki fandom is such a miserable place to be right now and I was wondering if you guys would be willing to explain your experience in the Loki fandom, good and bad, and how it's changed over time.

I don't care if your og, series, or Ragnarok or all of them, I just want to know*. And if you could reblog so this can reach more people, I would appreciate that. :)

*And to be clear, if any of you bully or harrass each other, there will be biting. Everyone is (at least a little) miserable, so let's talk about that neutrally, okay? Thanks! <3

[fighterkimburgess]

Unintentional Chapter 17 - Nadia Mairead Burgess

Summary: Kim has her baby shower and decides on childcare plans before her daughter makes an appearance. Series Masterlist Here

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: yet more angst, childbirth, pregnancy.

A/N: Folks, if you didn't see my post on Saturday, Unintentional is now going to a once a week posting schedule. When I started this fic I had a 15 chapter buffer. I'm now down to one (and that's not even edited!). I'll move back to two a week when I've got a bigger buffer going on, so hopefully it won't be like this for more than a week or so.

Wanna join my taglist?

--

The day of her baby shower dawned early, Nadia kicking up a storm and Kim waking up to the thuds. She’d bought a body pillow that sometimes helped, but whenever she used it her thoughts would fade back to Jay, to curling up against him and using him as a pillow. She’d thought that by now it would have faded, that her need to have him by her side would be gone. But seeing him every day made the wounds in her heart break open a little bit each time, wanting to see him and tell him about Nadia. She knew better, she knew it wasn’t the right thing. Kim could see the way he and Hailey were, she couldn’t stand in their way.

She hadn’t known how she was going to manage everything, but she’d been told to turn up at molly’s, to bring herself and her bump and smile at everyone. Kim just agreed, getting dressed and ready to go. She didn’t want to go, not really. She’d much rather have stayed home and relaxed, but Kim had agreed to turn up for her friends.

Trudy opened the door to the bar, grinning and welcoming her in. Inside was every woman she’d worked with, Julie even greeting her with open arms. Stella, Sylvie, and Foster from 51 were there, along with Natalie, Maggie, and April. It filled Kim’s heart with joy, even as she pushed down the sadness that Will’s girlfriend was there celebrating with her, but not Nadia’s uncle or father.

They played stupid party games, diapers decorated with encouraging slogans and bets placed on when Nadia would be born and the weight she’d appear at. Foster suggested hair and eye colour, something that Trudy and Hailey quickly voted against doing with a nod from Kim.

As she opened the presents Kim’s smile grew, a large pile of clothes in sizes from newborn to nine months growing around her. As the only person who knew what being a single mother was like in the group, Nat gave her a gift basket with what she called her new mother essentials - a face mask, hot chocolate, some treats, and ear plugs for if Nadia was too loud, as well as some fluffy socks and other treats that made Kim smile and thank her gratefully.

The final gifts to open were two large boxes, carefully wrapped. Kim opened the card first, the message in Jay’s unmistakable writing making tears come to her eyes.

Kim,

None of us knew what to get you, so we decided to make sure Nadia has the best furniture she could want. Everyone’s coming around when we have a weekend off so we can put it together for you and her.

The card was signed by the entire unit, and when Kim opened the wrapping paper it was the exact crib and changing station she’d wanted sitting there. She’d only put them on the registry to get the discount to buy them hen they hadn’t been purchased, but to see them actually there and purchased was amazing. They were light wood, the crib large enough to turn into a toddler bed when Nadia outgrew it, and the changing table matched perfectly with it. It was everything she didn’t know she wanted.

The rest of the afternoon passed with pizza being delivered, everyone celebrating Kim. She felt so loved and cared for, hugging everyone as they got ready to leave. Trudy and Sylvie helped her bring the gifts out to her car, neither of them letting Kim carry anything heavier than some leftover cake. The furniture was left behind, Trudy promising that they’d bring it when everyone came to her apartment to put it together.

Being heavily pregnant in the early summer wasn’t Kim’s idea of a good time. Nadia was constantly kicking in the early May humidity, and her unit had gotten used to the random thuds from Kim’s desk as she hit off the wood. It would be almost funny if she wasn’t constantly uncomfortable. But Trudy turned out to be her saving grace, almost accidentally.

She didn’t want to go home to her empty apartment. She didn’t want to sit and watch TV and count down the six weeks until her daughter was due by herself. So instead she sat at her desk, the list of necessities in front of her. Childcare was now Kim’s number one most pressing concern.

There was a CPD daycare that she would be leaving Nadia in, but because of her daughter’s age she’d only be able to be there for nine hours. Which for most cops would be fine, but Intelligence was not that kind of unit. She didn’t want to have to give it up, but something would have to give. The nanny service that Natalie had sent her was her saving grace, and she started making a list of what she wanted.

“Burgess? Shouldn’t you be at home by now?” Kim turned to see Trudy upstairs, shrugging.

“Had a few things to do, and sitting here is more comfortable than on the couch. Trying to work out the childcare situation for when Nadia’s here.”

She passed the papers over at Platt’s urging, watching her read over the ideas. It was weirdly nerve wracking watching the woman who’d helped her become a better cop go over plans for her childcare.

“This is good. Where are you getting the nanny from?”

Trudy sat in on Kim’s nanny interviews, helping her pick the person who’d spend time with Nadia. They picked Reese, who would be in college classes during the day, wanting to make money to put herself through her social work degree. She’d already had to do CPD vetting because of her degree, and that was the icing on the cake for who to choose. She agreed to come over a few weeks before she’d start to meet Nadia, to let her get used to her and having someone who wasn’t Kim around. Having her was a weight off Kim’s shoulders, knowing that she’d have someone to take care of her daughter. It was going to be worth it.

The rest of her time was spent between going to work and home. Sitting waiting for people to ask her to run searches wasn’t her idea of a good time, especially with Nadia kicking constantly and Kim being uncomfortably warm. Adam had gotten her a USB fan to plug in on her desk, which helped a little bit at keeping her cool. Everyone in the unit was careful to make sure she was ok before they left for raids or checking out scenes, filling Kim’s desk with water and food, making sure she had lunch if they were going to be a while. The only time she had to stand up was using the bathroom, happening more and more as she got closer to her due date. Heads would lift whenever she stood, everyone checking on her until she shook her head, confirming she wasn’t in labour yet.

Finally Intelligence had a Saturday off, and at noon her apartment was invaded by everyone. The self proclaimed Men Of Intelligence - everyone except Hailey and Trudy - brought the boxes of furniture up from Jay’s truck, ready to put it together. Kim smiled as Hailey and Jay arrived together, her best friends grinning and so excited for her baby. It made Kim even more sure about her decision. Hailey hadn’t said anything about dating Jay, but it was so clear to Kim that they were together, the easy intimacy between the two. It was the same way Hailey had been with Adam before that relationship was revealed, and Kim just smiled each time. With Vanessa undercover, the two women had become closer and closer, supporting each other knowing exactly what their job was like without help.

Kim arrived into the nursery to see the five men attempting to put the crib together, nearly dropping the pizza and beers she was bringing in. Adam and Kev were holding slats together as Jay and Al were using electric screwdrivers to put them together, Voight giving directions from the head of the mass of wood. It was hilarious, and she appreciated them all for it. The changing table had been fully made up, so she left the food there, a chorus of thank you from the men coming through.

Trudy arrived to help supervise them, and hearing her calls and insistence that Voight help with the hammering made Kim and Hailey laugh. But finally the furniture was done, pushed against the light grey walls. She’d wanted a mostly neutral room for Nadia, grey walls and light wood, with pastel accents and furnishings. The rocking chair she’d bought for herself was in the corner, a pillow sitting on it.

While they were sitting in the living room Trudy handed her a box, Kim putting it on the coffee table to open it. She’d always known the desk sergeant knitted - had been threatened with a pair of knitting needles more than once - but inside was a beautifully made layette set for her, but sizes bigger than a newborn. There was a knitted cardigan, booties, hat, and mittens, along with a blanket that fit the decor of the nursery perfectly. The stitches were neat and even, something Kim could scarcely believe. It was beautiful.

“Trudy…” She had no words for it.

“It’ll be too warm for her to wear it when she arrives, so I made a few sizes up. It should be perfect for winter for her. The blanket is washable, every child should have a comfort blanket.” She was matter of fact as usual, but Kim just kept grinning at it.

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

Hailey cooed over how it looked, and when Kim spread the blanket on her stomach Nadia kicked it, in the now universal sign that her daughter approved. Everyone came out from the nursery with the furniture made, complimenting Trudy on her craft. Kim had ordered Chinese food for everyone, passing out bottles of beer and glasses of wine for those who wanted it. They tried slipping her money for the takeout but she refused, insisting that the help they’d given her was more than worth it. Her phone buzzed with venmo payments from people, but she rolled her eyes and knew not to argue.

Everyone left earlier than they normally would out of consideration for her exhaustion, and Kim hugged them all goodbye. Nadia kicked against Hank and Jay, and when Jay hugged her he pushed the lightest kiss to her forehead. She should have seen it coming and moved her head but took the comfort gladly, she hadn’t had one since she’d left his apartment those months ago. And now he’d put together their daughter’s furniture, scratches on his hands from Adam’s misaimed swings with a hammer.

The last two weeks waiting for Nadia to come were painful, both literally and figuratively. She’d decided to work until she went into labour, deciding that it was better to spend as much time at home once she arrived than waiting for her to arrive. She got nine weeks of maternity leave, and it would fly by when they were home.

She was kept even more to her desk when she was in work, everyone delivering what she needed before she’d even thought about it. Kim was utterly convinced that they had a schedule worked out on how to look out for her, between cups of water and tea, and snacks being brought out to her. If she even considered staying at her desk after the clock hit five she was shooed out, regardless of whether or not there was a night raid. She argued, but when Voight sat down beside her desk and said they needed to make sure she was safe she just nodded and agreed to head home.

It was just after he’d asked her to head home, when she was standing in the grocery store picking up some ready made noodles for her dinner, when her first contraction hit. Kim just breathed through it, slow and steady, picking up her food and paying before getting into the car to go home. She had plenty of time, the next one was a half hour away and Kim had made it to her couch by the time it arrived.

Her hospital bag had been packed and ready to go in the car since she’d hit seven months, Nadia’s coming home outfit and things to keep her sane during labour in it. Instead she took a shower, the contractions so far apart she could wash and condition her hair in it, making sure she felt ready for what was about to happen. It was vain, but pregnancy meant her hair looked fantastic, so Kim just grinned at it as she brushed it out. She put on her favourite of her maternity dresses, curling up on the couch. The contractions were getting closer together, and once they were fifteen minutes apart she decided to make her way to the hospital while she could still drive without worrying. It was go time, and she was both nervous and excited for Nadia to come.

Kevin, Adam, and Hailey had all offered to be in the room with her, but she’d turned them all down in turn. As much as she loved Kevin and Adam as her brothers she didn’t want them in the room while she was giving birth. And the idea of having Hailey in there - having the woman she was closest to help her give birth to the man Kim was convinced they both loved’s child - just hurt too much. Alone would be hard, but better for her.

The trip to Med was quiet, Kim pulling over for one contraction, the Chicago streets mostly clear as she drove. The sun was beginning to peek above the city skyline, and it was beautiful. She’d always loved these kind of summer days, and she forever would love them now, because today was her daughter’s birthday.

Kim parked and checked in, ignoring the questioning glance the receptionist gave her when her answer to “is anyone coming after you?” was a calm no. She could do this, and one judgmental look would not stop her daughter from arriving. Once she had a white paper wristband on with her details on one arm, plus a green one with MOTHER in bold black letters on the other, she was put into a wheelchair and brought into a single room. The midwife introduced herself as Patti, helping Kim to put the gown on and pull back her hair. She handed over the TV remote and a buzzer to call if Kim needed anything.

She sat on the bed alone, rhythmic contractions hitting her with a rerun of some comedy on tv. It was when GMA started that she realised she hadn’t told anyone she was in the hospital, and pulled up her contacts to text Voight and tell him she wouldn’t be in work.

Checked into Med, Nadia is on her way. I’ll let you know when she arrives.

His response was nearly immediate, making her smile.

The entire group can’t wait to meet her, we’re looking forward to it.

Another contraction ripped through her when she finished reading the text, the feeling of her stomach tensing under her hand before relaxing surreal. Nadia had stopped kicking as much, and she was worried until she realised Patti was calm, telling her it was completely normal to happen.

“Are we waiting on your support person?” She asked, smiling at Kim while terror ripped through her in between pains. How could she do this on her own? What had made her think she could do it? She was a fool for even imagining she could.

“I’m on my own.” The words came through gritted teeth, but Patti just held her hand.

“Then I’m here for this whole time, ok? We’ve had Doctor Manning and Halstead ask if it was you up here, so you’ve plenty of support in this hospital. Plus, a couple of cops are waiting outside already. I get the feeling there’ll be more?”

“Probably. My unit are as good as my family.”

She held Patti’s hand when her OB came in, pushing on command. It hurt and she could barely believe she was doing it, but finally her labour was over and Nadia was there, a perfect, perfect baby girl. She cried nearly immediately, the doctor weighing and measuring her before handing her back to Kim, who grasped her daughter eight pound daughter closely. She could see the red tint to her hair, the Halstead genes coming out in force already. Her nose was Jay’s, her lips like Kim’s, and she could already tell that Nadia’s eyes would be like her dad’s, green blue already.

Their daughter was the perfect mix of both of them, and Kim cradled her closely when she relaxed after delivering the placenta. She’d brought their daughter into the world alone, but this was the last time Nadia wouldn’t know about the big group of people there for her already. A tear dropped down her cheek at how gorgeous she was, Kim counting fingers and toes compulsively, smiling as Nadia grasped her hand.

“Do you have a name for her, Kim?” Patti asked, Kim nodding immediately.

“Nadia. Nadia Mairead Burgess.” She spelt Mairead out for Patti, promising to bring the birth certificate by later for Kim to sign.

Patti talked her through getting Nadia to latch on, barely suckling anything but she’d at least tried. Kim put the small pink hat on her daughter’s head, still holding her in the white blanket.

“So, there’s a group of cops in our waiting room. They want to know if you and Nadia are ready for some visitors?” Kim smiled, not expecting them to turn up. She’d expected to call Voight later and tell him that Nadia had arrived, that they were in the middle of a case so couldn’t come out. It warmed her heart that they were there waiting for her.

“Send them in.”

It took two minutes for everyone to come in, Jay, Voight, Al, Adam, Kev, and Hailey, with Trudy bringing up the rear and grinning at the new mother. Kim pulled Nadia’s little hat down, determined to keep her hair hidden from view just in case Jay put two and two together. They looked at her expectantly, and Kim forced a smile.

“Meet Nadia, everyone,” she said, the grins splitting their faces. Jay was the closest one to her, and she handed their daughter to him as she forced a smile watching him cradle her. Kim’s heart was screaming to tell him, but she knew she’d made the right decision in the end. Even if her heart broke as Adam took photos of Jay holding the baby, pressing a kiss to his forehead the same way he had to her nearly every time they were together.

Adam took photos of everyone with Nadia, Kim smiling at her pseudo grandparents holding her closely.

“She’s perfect, Kim,” Al murmured as he handed her over to Trudy, who snuggled into her softer than anyone would have thought. Trudy passed her back with a smile and pat on Kim’s shoulder.

“After DeCotis, right?” Jay asked, and Kim nodded.

“Yeah. I wanted to name her after the bravest woman I knew, and I never got to thank Nadia for everything that time we were undercover together. If my Nadia has half the strength she has, she’s going to be perfect.”

“She already is, Kim. You’ve got a perfect daughter, and we’ll all be here for her even if her dad isn’t. She’ll be sixteen and dating and have to deal with all of us.” Kim laughed slightly wetly, her emotions beginning to bubble over at everyone nodding at Jay’s words.

“She’s going to completely love it. We’re all there for each other, she’s just the first child from us.”

Everyone left shortly after to give the new mother some peace with her daughter. Trudy was the last to leave, giving Kim a hug and looking at Nadia closely. Kim was nervous at the near inspection Trudy did, before watching the sleeping child grasp her finger for a moment.

“We’re going to surround her, Burgess. She’s going to have a family in the 21st, don’t you ever doubt it. I was never lucky enough to have a daughter, but I’ve always thought of you like one. And if it’s ok, I want to think of her as a granddaughter.”

The offer filled Kim with joy, the knowledge that Nadia would have them. That no matter what happened, she would have that family around her.

“Thanks, Trudy. For everything.”

“You never need to thank me.”

As Kim watched her sergeant, the woman who’d believed in her when everything had looked bad for her, leave, she held her tears in. But as the door to her hospital room closed, Kim held her daughter close and let the tears run down her cheeks, stopping the gasping sobs she wanted to let out. The only thing she wanted in the world was that Jay was sitting beside her, holding their daughter in his arms. But instead he was on his way back to the precinct with Hailey, and she couldn’t begrudge him the happiness he had gained.

Next chapter >>

Taglist: @kellykidd @pinkwhitebrown @dedlund82 @resanoona @harleyquinnpuddin @brookerz122493 @stephanie708 @mmacke3613 @sylvieshay @sophiatellerrhodes @ossypooh @eviehalstead21 @upsteadlovingheart @loki-halstead @keenmarvellover @thewannabewriter @andycasey06 @brockreynolds @cynthia1guardia

[halsteadsfave]

A Close Call (m.c.)

Pairing: Matt Casey x (firefighter) Reader

Word Count: 1305

Warnings: angst, possible spelling errors

A/N: thanks for the request (#2 & #4) - I hope you like it (:

xoxo

_____

'Morning Severide' you called out to Kelly standing at the squad table while you were walking inside the 51.

'Morning (Y/L/N)' he answered quickly. Greeting some of the other members of the 51 while making your way to the lockers.

Putting your bag inside your locker, you were feeling hands on your waist. You were now grinning widely because you knew exactly who it was.

'Good morning beautiful' Matt whispered into your ear, leaving some kiss behind your ear. Leaning against him, you were enjoying it a lot.

'Good morning Captain' you glanced around while talking.

Matt and you were together for half a year. Everyone knew it, but you rarely showed it. You were kinda surprised by his behavior.

'Everything’s alright with you?' You asked him while turning around. Placing your hands in the crock of his neck and smiling at him.

He didn’t answer your question. Matt kissed you instead. It was a sweet kiss, which you expected to be a short one. The reality was, that you both seemed to enjoy it a lot.

One of your hands found his hair and the other one was still around his neck. His hands were exploring your body. Melting into each other, you were in your own love bubble.

Completely out of breath, you were separating. This was amazing. Both of you smiling like idiots.

'I don’t know where it came from. I just needed it' Matt was again whispering and you were cupping his face to give him a quick kiss.

'Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61...'

Both of you separated quickly before running into the hall.

You were getting dressed within seconds and jumping into the truck after Mouch. You were a firefighter of Truck 81. It wasn’t always easy to work with your boyfriend, but you two could blend out your relationship on calls without any problems.

Arriving some minutes later at the scene, you saw the big flames coming out of the family house.

Jumping out of the truck, Matt told everyone what to do. Squad was going to the first floor while Mouch, Stella, and you would inspect the ground floor. Matt and Gallo would lookout for the two missing people in the basement.

Putting on your gas mask and checking with Stella and Mouch, you were ready to fight the beast inside. You hoped that you all would find the missing people as soon as possible because the fire grew constantly.

Looking the last time in Matt’s eyes and nodding, everybody stormed into the building.

You were going first and after you Stella. 'I’ll take the right' she said and you took the left. Mouch was going to the back of the house. It was burning hot inside.

'Fire department call out!' You screamed and looked around. The halligan in your hand helping you find your way through the kitchen. Through the radio, you heard that squad found one person upstairs and was on their way out of the building. So one was still missing.

'(Y/L/N), Mouch I found someone' Stella called through the radio and you went over to her. She was kneeling next to an elderly lady, who was unconscious.

You taking her upper body and Stella the rest, you went outside. The heat inside the building was growing very fast. You had to hurry up. Mouch was helping you to find the right way out of the house.

When your foot hit the grass outside, there was a big explosion behind you. Falling to the floor, you turned around immediately.

Everybody around you gasped, while you were trying to catch your breath. This was close.

'Casey? Gallo? Are you guys ok?' Severide screamed into his radio. Your eyes went wide. You thought everyone was outside already.

Looking around again, Mouch was helping Sylvie to get the lady onto a stretcher. You stood up scanned your surrounding for your boyfriend.

'Casey? Gallo?' Severide asked again. There was no response. You teared up. This is worse than a nightmare.

The building was in flames and everyone was quiet around you. Nobody knew what to say.

'Casey?? Gallo?? Please say something, if you can!' Now Herrmann was recalling, but again, there was no answer.

The fear growing, your tears were now falling down your cheeks. This can’t be true.

'We have to find them. They have to be there. We have to do something' you began, but your voice broke at the end. Through the flames and the big grey cloud, which was still there, you couldn’t see anything. The tears were running down your face.

Suddenly you saw two people coming in your direction. Blinking twice you saw your colleague and boyfriend walking out of the big cloud of dust.

You couldn’t believe it. He was alive. They were both alive.

Running into his arms, he held you tight. Cupping his face some seconds after it, to reassure it is him.

'You are alive! I was so worried-' '(Y/N) I’m good' he interrupted you quickly.

You let him go and scanned him for any injuries. His jacket was gone and his arm was bleeding. He had a few cuts there. 'I’m not hurt either. Everything’s good. We made it out of the basement before the building exploded.'

'God Matt!' Now was your time interrupting him. 'I can see your injuries, but as long as you’re breathing, standing here with me, nothing else matters.'

He hugged you again. You were calmer now but still full of adrenaline. This was too much.

'Can I check your injuries?‘ Gianna came to both of you. You let him go with her to let her do her job. Everyone around you was relieved.

'Are you good?' Stella came up to you and hugged you. 'It’s all good I guess.'

'I’m glad to hear. They scared all of us' she said kissing your cheek and letting go of you. You nodded and looked over to the ambulance. Matt got checked up and you were just glad to see him alive.

Helping to pack everything back in the trucks, you were still a little bit out of focus. The fear was still present, even though you could see him with your eyes.

'We’ll take him with us to Med, but everything is ok' Sylvie called out and you looked in her direction. She was closing the doors of the ambulance and you nodded quickly. They won't need long.

Being back at 51 you were still trying to get yourself together. Sitting at your bed, you were staring at the cup of coffee in your hands. You needed a moment to get back in your usual mood.

'Guys, Casey is back!' You heard Mouch calling out and some cheering voices. You let out a small sigh and placed the now empty coffee mug on the small table.

Looking up, you saw your boyfriend leaning in the door frame. He smiled and you tried too. He had a bandage around his arm, but he was looking fresher than before.

Matt was coming over to you and sat down next to you. He took your hand and stroked it. 'I see your worried face, babe' he spoke softly.

You shook your head a little. 'I’m still trying to get myself together. I was scared' you admitted while looking into his ocean blue eyes. Matt being around you, helped you a lot. Those eyes were your home.

'Please don’t scare me like that ever again.'

'I won’t.' He stroke your cheek once and gave you small smile.

'I’m here and everything is ok, (Y/N)' he whispered against your lips before he kissed you.

'So, I can still get on your nerves?' You smiled at him and he nodded while having a grin on his face.

'Of course. You won’t get rid of me so easily, babe'

[ncghtshifts]

starts wildly tap dancing w excitement HLO EVERYONE!!!!!! wow i am barbarically excited to rp with u all, below is a wee bit abt my first bebe rosa....... my sun my moon my stars......... give this a like if u wld Love to Plot!!

TW’S FOR CANCER, DEATH, AND GRIEF BELOW!

◜     *     :     maya     hawke     .     ciswoman     &     she/her     .     everywhere     by     fleetwood     mac     .     ━━     the     legend     surrounding     london’s     l’academiae     furorum     would     not     be     complete     without     ROSALIND     SAMUELS     .     the     academy's     TWENTY     -     FOUR     year     old     ASSISTANT     STAGE     MANAGER     has     been     with     furore     for     TWO     YEARS     ,     oft     described     as     OBDURATE     ,     MAGNILOQUENT     ,     COGNIZANT     ,     AUSTERE     &     has     proved     utterly     indispensable     to     the     company.     in     passing     ,     they’ve     come     to     be     associated     with     ORGANIC     WATERMELON     AND     MINT     SHAMPOO     ,     FRESH     LAUNDRY     THAT     DOESN'T     QUITE     COVER     THE     SMELL     OF     THE     SIX     COFFEES     YOU     DRANK     TODAY     &     scoffing     in     a     man's     face     -     how     dare     he     speak     to     you     ?     toughest     crybaby     on     the     block     ,     with     perfection     on     the     brain     .     hands     shaking     from     caffeine     and     lips     pursed     with     determination     ,     constantly     donning     a     turtleneck     and     jeans     ,     even     under     the     heat     of     the     summer     sun     .     still     finding     out     who     you     are     all     these     years     later     -     mirrors     still     intimidate     you     .     whether     this     will     be     their     final     curtain     call     is     anyone's     guess     &     the     company’s     worst     nightmare    .

background.

rosa is the daughter of a pastor in new york so…………… Fun Times was had throughout her childhood!

she’s also the younger sibling of twins who were super close growing up so she always felt like a bit of an outsider……… but they loved her n she loves them even tho they’re . super weird about it

she was always a bit of a . Harsh child…….. fr no reason rly she jst didnt kno how to interact with kids but there was one (1) kid named sylvie who was rosa’s closest friend for a bit and she grew so attached they did??? everything together like they had sleepovers every night they were Obsessed

CANCER TW - rosa hadn’t made friends other than sylvie so when she had to leave school bc she was diagnosed with leukemia it was fkin devastating fr rosa she didnt kno how to exist without sylvie

DEATH/GRIEF TW - lo n behold sylvie unfortunately passed away……… n it rly messed rosa up she was extremely selective w her friends fr most of her childhood (n still is frankly) - CANCER TW END

just when she was getting over it one of the twins?? passed away and the whole family was in shambles once again and rosa for a while was really messed up over it she stayed home for a semester before going away to uni bc it reminded her of losing sylvie again n she didnt kno how to function

she eventually sort of?? forced herself to get over it in a way where like . she’s almost trying to pretend like it never happened?? just refuses to talk abt it rly :/ - DEATH/GRIEF TW END

SUPER keeps to herself rly, she has a decent amount of friends bt nothing crazy n frankly has no desire to meet anyone new or talk to anyone new, jst has trust issues n doesnt wanna lose anyone else

decided to go Global fr her schooling and found herself in england, where an opportunity arose fr her to become an assistant stage manager n the rest is history!!!!

details.

avoids sexual advances if she can/exploring her sensuality fr the most part………. still a wee virgin (not tht i believe in the concept of virginity bt rosa does #catholicupbringing)

can b kinda temperamental n will blow up in someones face

strictly wears long sleeves and pants (mostly overalls) its rare shes in short sleeves and/or shorts even in hot weather

u will RARELY ever catch her in a skirt/dress its jst not her thing

a total tomboy she grew up doing 1000 sports

very dry humour…………

is tough as nails yet simultaneously? cries at anything and everything. #girlboss

hates men and she’s right for it.

connections.

someone she has a crush on bt refuses to face it so she bullies them bc of it

someone who has a crush on her?? bc tht wld b cute considering she wld b oblivious

a few friends who managed to weasel their way into her life

or ppl she’s rubbed the wrong way/enemies tbh

frankly???? anything this isnt much to go off of bt i am also beyond down. to go by vibes smiles at u all